The sad truth is that the vans parents actually have to worry about will probably never be this conspicuous.
Parents in Natomas, California, were worried earlier this week following reports of a suspicious van driving the streets of the Sacramento suburb. The white van had "Free Candy" painted in red on its side, along with handprints and smears leading to its rear doors. It also had no rear license plate.
"It just felt like they were trying to attract kids, and it just gave me a creepy feeling," Dominique Bellow told KOVR. She said her son took a photo of the vehicle after seeing it around town.
"I didn’t know what was going on so I just wanted to get evidence in case anything happened," 12-year-old Lawrence Bellow said.
As it turns out, the van was a joke-on-wheels bound for this year's Burning Man arts festival. There's a tradition of Burning Man attendees driving art cars to the weeklong party, which takes place in the Nevada desert.
The decorated vehicles can get pretty outrageous, but it appears that some people just didn't see the dark humor in the "Free Candy" van.
Dilapidated vans with "Free Candy" painted on the side are also an Internet meme.