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From the World's Worst Mom

I want you to be happy, healthy, and safe. I want you to have fun, I want you to enjoy what Life has to offer. I want you to go all in -- with your eyes wide open and good information to help you make smart choices.
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Dear Child of Mine,

I am sorry you were embarrassed when you told me you were going to "hang out" after school with "friends" at "someone's" house and I would need to pick you up "later" -- and I dared to ask for more specifics.

I do not mortify you in front of your friends just for fun (well, not this time anyway). I was doing my job. I am a Mom -- YOUR Mom -- and knowing "who, what, where, when, why, and how" is part of my job. If I do not ask you to provide that information, then I am slacking and not doing my job.

If I am "the only Mom" who requires that information, then so be it. I guess you got the short end of the stick for a Slacking Mom. Suck it up and just give me the info. If you're not going to do something stupid or dangerous, then what do you have to hide?

Please keep in mind that I do YOU the courtesy of letting you know MY plans. It seems like a common courtesy, doesn't it really? And I don't even ask you to come get me late at night when you'd love to be curled up in jammies in bed but head out anyway -- because it's your job. It IS my job. For life, because that's what I signed up for. More than that: I love you, plain and simple.

I'm not asking for pats on the back or daily thanks or even a raise for doing my job. It's what I do. I screw up once in awhile, and there are some things I wish I could have done differently... but you've turned out pretty well (so far), so I must be doing something right.

I want you to be happy, healthy, and safe. I want you to have fun, I want you to enjoy what Life has to offer. I want you to go all in -- with your eyes wide open and good information to help you make smart choices.

So who are these "friends," what's the address, and when will you be home? Oh, excuse me for a few minutes: I need to go find certain baby pictures to show your friends.

Love always,

Mom