Frosty the Puddle: Global Warming Casualty Under Dispute

He waved goodbye saying, "Don't you cry," but Frosty the Snowman will not be back someday--or ever. Frosty the Snowman has become Frosty the Puddle. Experts are citing global warming as the cause. "No magic hat in the world can combat consecutive years of record-high temperatures," one environmental scientist said. "The children are devastated and justifiably outraged."

Conservatives have launched counter-attacks in response to the children's outcry. "It's tragic, but no reason for a knee-jerk reaction," a spokesperson said. "These kids believe ridiculous scientific nonsense based on nothing more than in-depth study, rigorous testing, and research findings replicated hundreds of times. Climate change is indisputably impossible because...you know...God."

He continued, "Stop your bellyaching, children! A puddle is just as, if not more, fun as running here and there all around the square with a magically animated snowman. More thumpety-thump-thump for your buck!"

If the trend of record-high temperatures continues, Frosty the Puddle is expected to become Frosty the Steam by the end of next year.

Image: "Corn Cob Smoking Pipe" Author TJSweden, via Wikimedia Commons