Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
My workout video would just be a 20 minute montage of me in various restaurants bending over to pick up crayons my kid dropped.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 22, 2019
[teaching teen to drive]— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 18, 2019
Me: I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, sweetie.
Teen: Shouldn’t you be sitting in the passenger seat?
Me: No, this seat is better. *begins kicking her seat*
Wife: Where's the toddler?— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 20, 2019
Me: In the other room, watching something.
Wife: What's he watching?
Me: Who cares? He's in the other room!
Welcome to parenthood. Your full-time job is now putting throw pillows back on the couch.— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 22, 2019
Parenting is checking to see which kids are in your house at any given moment just by looking at the always-changing pile of shoes by the door.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) August 19, 2019
daughter: what kind of shell is this, daddy?— 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚔 (@mister_blank) August 20, 2019
me: [never remembers how conch is pronounced] a big pretty one, honey.
Whenever I make dinner, my family waits in joyous and eager anticipation of ordering backup pizza.— Just J (@junejuly12) August 22, 2019
90% of parenting is making tiny portions of snacks look big and big portions of vegetables look tiny.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 22, 2019
I have no theories as to what the apocalypse will be like.— Mom On The Rocks (@sah_nursemom) August 19, 2019
But I do know my kids will still be asking for snacks.
My son texted me halfway through his first day of school “I HAVE STRAIGHT A’s SO FAR!” & parenting books did not prepare me for this level of proud.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 22, 2019
the woman in my fb feed who just wished her daughter a happy anniversary while sharing only photos of herself in her mother-of-the-bride dress is the energy im carrying with me the rest of this week— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) August 19, 2019
With her phone, laptop, and iPad all out I thought my wife was trying to get concert tickets but it turns out she was trying to be first on the class party signup so she could volunteer to bring plates and napkins.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 20, 2019
Me to husband: "Ok, so don't tell the kids but I bought..."— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 21, 2019
*looks around and whispers*
4yo appears from around the corner: "You bought cookies!"
20mo pops out of cabinet: "kookies?!
If I tweet “I’m taking a break to spend more time with my family” please know this account has been hacked— Bart (@bartandsoul) August 22, 2019
Toddlers are sticky handed natural disasters.— Hot Girl May Parker (@Steph_I_Will) August 20, 2019
Blink and the next thing you know an organized room looks like it was hit by a catergory 5 storm.
I didn’t think I had anxiety, but then I watched my daughter try to pour her own glass of milk.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 23, 2019
I just saw a woman with 6 very young children walking into Home Goods. I whispered to myself, "That is the bravest woman I have ever seen."— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) August 23, 2019