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IDK who needs to hear this but don’t wait until the end of the quarantine to discover you never pulled your kid’s lunch out of her backpack.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 22, 2020
Wife: What are you guys playing?— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 24, 2020
Wife: But the kids are just hopping up and down while you're drinking scot-
Wife: Got an extra glass?
8: what day is it? Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) March 25, 2020
What a crazy world— my 5yo just requested me to please not be loud or crazy because she has a call at 10 with her class.— #hashtagtacos 🌮 (@VicVijayakumar) March 24, 2020
Her: Twins run in my family— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) March 25, 2020
Me: I can’t even get mine to go for a walk
Them: I taught my kids French during the quarantine— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 25, 2020
Me: I taught my 4 year old TikTok
Reading your kids a book in a funny voice that entertains them AND annoys your spouse is the holy grail of parenting.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 24, 2020
My toddler prefers brushing his teeth in the nude— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) March 25, 2020
No one prepared me for these moments
If you had asked me what the hardest part of battling a global pandemic would be I would have never guessed, “teaching elementary school math.”— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 23, 2020
My toddler just started cheering and I joined in. I’ve no idea what we’re cheering for but I’m liking this positivity— Lottie-pop (@lottie_fly_x) March 25, 2020
I told my kids I was older than the Internet then spent the next hour trying to explain how to (google) things with magical books called encyclopedias— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) March 25, 2020
I moved a table into the living room so the kids now have a cute little workspace/desk area to sit at while they whine.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 23, 2020
My children call for “Mommy” an awful lot for people who don’t listen to a goddamn word I say.— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) March 26, 2020
8y.o: “I need help with my math.”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 25, 2020
Me: “I’m working right now, but Daddy can help you.”
8: “I know, but...”
Me: “Go ask him- he’s better at math than I am, anyway.”
8: “I know, but even though it’s numbers, he uses WAY too many words to explain it to me.”
Taught Luna to shake trees and collect sticks to sell. So proud. Need a few more kids and I will truly be the mayor— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 27, 2020
7-year-old: Can we leave the house?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 22, 2020
Me: We could go for a walk.
7: And then what?
Me: Come back to the house.
7: I'll just stay here.
Dear Netflix,— Not the Nanny (@notthenanny) March 21, 2020
For the remainder of the quarantine, please assume we are always “still watching.”
13 y/o daughter is in “gym” class online. They’re just sitting down talking. One child is in the full school gym uniform down to athletic shoes for the videoconference.— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) March 23, 2020
Me: We’re well stocked with the necessities, let’s not waste food— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 25, 2020
What my kids hear: Yayy let’s eat, every hour, like it’s a cruise buffet
Whoever said, "the days are long but the years are short" did not know about 2020.— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 22, 2020