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Love those rare days when your kid can just go to elementary school without having to dress up as something.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 1, 2021
asked my 5-year-old what she wanted for dinner and she said “not a burned quesadilla” bc in the summer of 2019 I overcooked one side of her quesadilla— todd dillard (@toddedillard) March 3, 2021
I just opened a pre-pandemic / pre-baby purse and it’s like an archeological discovery from a life I do not know anymore.— Emily Favreau (@emilyfavreau) February 27, 2021
Me: come here please, I need you to help me clean this up— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 27, 2021
4: don’t you know how to do it yourself?
i have a question about kids. and my question is what the hell— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 1, 2021
Toddlers innately know just when to give a parent a hug or say I love you. If for no other reason than to ensure their own survival.— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 2, 2021
I love the arbitrary rules I make as a parent like no you can’t have chips for breakfast but please have this sugar ladened cereal instead— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 4, 2021
feeding a toddler is like only having $0.50 to fill up your gas tank every time— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 1, 2021
I be high as a mf pretending to be dinosaurs wit my son. He be lookin like, “Damn... she’s good.”— Big Nita (@Trillustratorr) February 28, 2021
Allowance? I grew up with immigrant parents so all I got was being allowed to live in their house.— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) March 3, 2021
[Conversation between 5-year-olds]— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 4, 2021
There are 3 bad "B" words:
Not to brag but my kid can take one chore that should take 5 minutes and through meticulous and relentless negotiating, complaining, and procrastinating stretch it into an all week event.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 28, 2021
My son informs me that Slack 'looks like a boomer discord'.— Ian Miell (@ianmiell) February 28, 2021
My 5YO lost her first tooth and is very certain that the tooth fairy will give it to an old lady who really needs it— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 4, 2021
When my 4 year old gets tired she can’t stop crying and gets angry about literally everything, and people keep saying that she’ll get better as she gets older but seeing as I’m basically her 30 years later, I don’t think these people know what they’re talking about.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) March 1, 2021
Took my son out for his 1st driving lesson.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 2, 2021
Zero out of 5 stars. Do not recommend.
Me: What are you doing sweet girl— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 2, 2021
4yo: Making my dolls eat brains.
4: I need my princess dress NOW!— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 4, 2021
Me: You heard the lady! GET HER A PRINCESS DRESS STAT!
4: Who are you talking to?
Me: Your servants
4: I don’t have servants
On a scale of yelling to screaming how's your morning with the kids going?— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 3, 2021
A moment of silence for all of our selves from a year ago who knew nothing of toilet paper shortages, drive-by birthdays, and virtual school.— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 1, 2021