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where do babies come from? seriously. i have no clue how they keep getting in the house.— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) May 6, 2021
I want my son to write freely and creatively, but I also don’t want him using the word chillax in a paper about Julius Caesar.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 3, 2021
My 4 year old successfully used chop sticks today. She’s never used them before. I’m confused but amazed LMAO— Jayde Pierce (@JaydePierce) May 6, 2021
My 5 yo decided to count to 1000 in his head. It was the most peace I have had in years.— Daisy (@Daisyldoo) May 3, 2021
Be kind to everyone you meet for you never know who got woken up at 3:20am by a kid who was “just not tired”.— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 6, 2021
When I was a kid, I stupidly stapled my fingertip to see what would happen.— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 3, 2021
This morning, my 8yo put one of those plastic bread bag clips on her lip and I knew my legacy would live on.
My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 2, 2021
Me: I don't know how making meals that all the kids will eat could get any more difficult.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 3, 2021
Child: I am no longer eating any food that contains the letter "e."
Cleaning when you have a toddler is truly pointless.— s e a r r a (@deadbitterbaby) May 6, 2021
My 4yo said wouldn’t it be funny if she was the queen and I was her servant and we both laughed and then I cried bc that’s my actual real life— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 5, 2021
My wife has introduced Play-Doh to our child and I just can’t think of a more reckless decision.— Pat Cunnane (@PatCunnane) May 6, 2021
The way my kids take a bath they’ll never have a bad smelling tile on their bathroom floor— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 3, 2021
[taking a staycation]— Heatherhere 😷 (@Heatinblack) May 3, 2021
Kids: are we there yet?
My youngest is really disappointed that Mother's Day is not named specifically for me and wants to know if it's because I'm "not a famous mom".— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) May 3, 2021
one day you’ll be at a playground watching your kids run around because they don’t need you to follow them around anymore and you’ll notice a mom running after a toddler with a baby in a carrier and you’ll cry for a moment because THANK FUCK THOSE DAYS ARE DONE— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) May 6, 2021
The other day my 5-year-old told me that when you’re in a car you’re outside but also inside and I can’t stop thinking about that.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 5, 2021
Having kids has turned my house into a junk drawer.— 𝓜𝓸𝓶’𝓼 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓻 (@Mamaoutoforder) May 4, 2021
12 yo: *bawling* mom I had a dream I was at your funeral you had been assassinated.— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) May 3, 2021
Me: Aw buddy you think I’m cool enough to be assassinated!
Can someone communicate to my family that for Mother’s Day I want to be the opposite of “feeling seen”— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) May 6, 2021
I try not to cook in days ending in ‘y’ but my kids are so needy— Pricklepants Chalupa (@itsmebeegee07) May 6, 2021
This morning, to my children, I said “Fine! See if I ever birth you again!” And “I rue the day I ever pooped you out of my butthole.” I can’t wait to hear the feedback from their science teachers.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) May 2, 2021
I love all my children equally, I steal the same number of fries from each one— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) May 5, 2021