Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Three year old has now walked inside the airport, the elevator, the terminal, and the tram and asked each time “IS THIS THE AIRPLANE?!”
— josie duffy rice (@jduffyrice) August 10, 2021
I remind my teen daughter to brush her teeth, style her hair, change her outfit 4 times, bake homemade banana bread, finish a 4 page assignment, and text 12 friends by telling her we are leaving in 2 minutes.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 12, 2021
The new vacuum cleaner says not to operate while tired, so guess I’m waiting until the kids grow up and move out
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 12, 2021
Just put Sesame Street on the tv and my one year old daughter pointed at Elmo on the screen and said “GOD!”
— Laura Stevenson (@laurastevenson) August 11, 2021
“It would be bad to get the hiccups during the Olympics.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 9, 2021
- 9, introducing an important topic the commentators have as of yet, ignored
Age 2: Terrible Two
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 10, 2021
Ages 3-5: Terrible Too
Dear parents,
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 7, 2021
Here is your reminder to delete the 1000 photos your 3-year-old took while playing with your phone.
I’m so glad we have a house full of toys for me to trip over so my child can run around happily clutching an old dvd
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 9, 2021
My kid asked for a bagel with cream cheese but when I gave it to her she said she didn’t want it anymore and so I asked what happened in the three min it took me to prepare it and she just shrugged and said “I changed my mind”.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 10, 2021
- my villain origin story, chapter 1
Hm I wonder what it could be pic.twitter.com/RJdbbFfZP9
— Erin And A Half Ryan (@morninggloria) August 8, 2021
Parenting is telling your kid they can’t have a cookie before bed knowing full well you’ll have an entire sleeve of cookies after they go to bed.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 13, 2021
Dads love sitting in the car with the engine running while the rest of the family's still in the house getting their shoes on
— The Dad (@thedad) August 12, 2021
My 7yo wanted me to be her child when playing house, so I begged her for snacks and made her watch my "cool tricks," and within a few minutes, she sent me to my room so she wouldn't have to deal with me.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) August 12, 2021
My friends daughters hamster has been missing and feared dead for almost 2 weeks now.
— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) August 10, 2021
Last night she forgot to wash up the paint tray after a day of decorating.
We now think the hamster may still be alive… pic.twitter.com/8ecp578uwP
my daughter wants to speak another language so she’s walking around the house saying “mozzarella pizza!” in an italian accent, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 she’s not wrong…
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 7, 2021
Saw a rival dad bringing his trash cans to the curb this evening so I asked him how late he was planning on sleeping in tomorrow.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 11, 2021
If your 6-year-old suddenly runs to assure you in the kitchen that his napping toddler brother is “JUST FINE,” you can be sure that he has tiny dinosaur figurines stacked high on his forehead as he sleeps.
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) August 12, 2021
When your kids eat breakfast, do they pour the MILK on the floor first, or the CEREAL
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 7, 2021
I take my kids out to experience new things and see different places just so they can diversify their whine portfolio.
— Daisy (@Daisyldoo) August 12, 2021
Shakespeare: Mum, come watch this!
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) August 10, 2021
Shakespeare's mum: Oh dear Lord, not another one of thy "plays"...
My 4 year old loves baboons. He had a red baboon and a green baboon and enjoyed kicking them around the house. His green baboon popped and he cried so much I had to promise to get him a new baboon. One day someone will tell him to say “balloons” and not baboons but it won’t be me
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) August 12, 2021
Just a reminder that a Cheesecake Factory menu counts as summer reading for your kids.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 10, 2021
My two favorite things in life are being with my kids and not being with my kids.
— The Spicy Disaster Mama (@spicydisasterma) August 12, 2021
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