Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I was singing You Are My Sunshine to my 3 year old and he told me he hates that song. I said that's a shame because I use to sing it to him when he was in my tummy before he was born and he looked me dead in the eyes and said "I hated it then too".
— 🎄Aice is my Christmas name - ask me why 🎄 (@AliceTaylorM) December 12, 2021
My best friend bought my daughter a 2000 piece bead kit when she turned four and to this day I don’t know what I did to piss her off.
— Andi (@smiles_and_nods) December 13, 2021
Asked my 5yo if she wanted a pic with Santa. She laughed and said she is not into pics with “random dudes.”
— Megan Gaucher (@GaucherMeg) December 11, 2021
Boundaries.
toddler: “daddy, i have a question, what is on your head?”
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) December 11, 2021
me: “i don’t know, you tell me”
toddler: “nothing, you have no hair!” [cackles]
absolutely roasted
My kids are at that awkward Christmas age where they're too old for toys but too young for Beer of the Month Club.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 15, 2021
Having kids is great because you get to ask fun questions like why is there a volleyball in the refrigerator?
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) December 15, 2021
my wife got our 4yo a bowl of cereal. he then complained that he didn’t want milk in the cereal and asked her to pour out the milk and then rinse off the cereal with water.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 11, 2021
Currently arguing with my toddler over how to spell the letter “A” if you’re thinking about having kids
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) December 16, 2021
Parenting is about feeling proud that your kids remembered to unload the dishwasher and then realizing you'd forgotten to turn it on.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) December 16, 2021
on the 12th day of christmas my kids can’t seem to find
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 17, 2021
12 lego pieces
11 broken crayons
10 random socks
9 puzzle pieces
8 bouncy balls
7 board game pieces
6 library books
5 marker caaaps
4 play-doh tops
3 homework papers
2 tiny gloves
and the remote to the damn tv
My 2.5-year-old child: "I love you."
— Jennifer Bendery (@jbendery) December 16, 2021
*heart melts*
Me: "Aw! I love you too."
Child: "NOOOOOO!" *smacks me*
Parenthood is the best y'all.
i hate that stupid ad where the little girl puts the snowman in the freezer for a year and her parents are like, sure, let's facilitate this behavior instead of getting this child in therapy
— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) December 12, 2021
[Driving]
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) December 15, 2021
Me: lots of snowbirds around
6: where are the birds??
Me: no, snowbirds are people-
6: people dressed as birds??
Me: [sigh] never mind
I like to tell my kids they aren’t going to participate in reindeer games when they misbehave during Christmas time.
— Holly Jolly BG 🎄 (@itsmebeegee07) December 12, 2021
We have no idea what I’m talking about but it works
If you’re not standing at the top of the stairs throwing laundry down are you even rage cleaning your kids rooms?
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 13, 2021
6YO threw a fit this morning cause she couldn’t find her mittens and then used her grandma voice to announce “found them sorry about all that commotion”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 14, 2021
Here's a fun game, it's called "how many times will this movie say 'ass' before my kids ask what it means?"
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) December 15, 2021
I don’t mean to take the spotlight from legos or anything but stepping on a Barbie shoe in the middle of the night ain’t much fun either
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 15, 2021
WE ARE MAKING COOKIES AS A FAMILY AND IT IS GOING TO BE GOD-DAMNED MAGICAL
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) December 17, 2021
He found something on the ground. Hopefully it's edible.
— CC (@CCRuns) December 16, 2021
-me parenting
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