Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
The hardest part of parenting is realizing that it is your circus & those definitely are your monkeys.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 2, 2016
I really miss my kids today so I've set 476 alarms to run throughout the day asking if there is anything else to eat.
— Mike Reynolds (@PuzzlingPostDad) February 2, 2016
Today is brought to you by the letters 'N' and 'O'.
— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) February 3, 2016
Parenting for me is just saying, "What?" over and over again until they get frustrated enough to figure it out on their own.
— Travis Bone (@FinallyHeSleeps) February 1, 2016
I lead the after-school drama club at my kid's school. A 1st gr said, "Can you teach me how to act like I'm listening when my dad talks?"
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 1, 2016
What they don't tell you in school is that you will spend the rest of your life cleaning up someone or something's poop.
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) February 1, 2016
Explaining to 11 what it was like to have 5 tv channels, no remotes and cords on our phones..."Oh so you grew up during the Middle Ages" 😒
— The Queen's Heart (@thequeensheart) February 1, 2016
What happens in Vegas is nothing compared to the gamble I make when I leave the house with a toddler who hasn't taken a nap.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 2, 2016
Just discovered that my kids colored on all the pages of my beautiful interior designs books, and it's like, yeah, this feels more accurate.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) January 31, 2016
You know in those family sitcoms where they find out that mum is wrong and the kids were right all along? Yeah, that never happens here
— Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) February 3, 2016
Both of my kids have a tiny cut. Can any of you spare 472 Band-Aids to help them get through the next 3 days?
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 1, 2016
My daughter was driving me crazy in the car and I found a coloring book and a FRESH pack of crayons in here for her. Mothering levels 100000
— Elita (@ELlTAAAA) February 2, 2016
Ever want to test your limits in parenting? Take a 6 & 4 yr old appliance shopping for the day.
— THE Diaper Dad (@DiaperDads) February 1, 2016
I grossly underestimated how much KidzBop I'd have to listen to as a parent.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) February 2, 2016
Judging by the pile of dishes in the sink and on the counter, my family has decided that 2 whole days is enough sick time for me.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) February 2, 2016
My son told me that he misses me...and his Star Wars sheets. I'm pretty excited I made the top 2. #parenting
— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) February 3, 2016
"Daddy, I love your singing, but it's really annoying."
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) February 2, 2016
Ah, the compliments of a 5-year-old.
ISO: an app that locates all of the things my child loses multiple times daily
— Karen Callahan (@totmessmom) February 3, 2016
"It's crispy and hot and it's ready to rock!"
— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) February 2, 2016
- my 6yo describing his bacon
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