Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

If you ever want to see how patient you are, watch a 4 yr old try to zip up their jacket. You should be canonized for sainthood after that.

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 22, 2016

6yo: Mommy, can I have a TV in my room?
Mommy: If I did that, I'd never see you
6yo: Yes you would - for breakfast, lunch and dinner

— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) February 26, 2016

Me:
*wakes up, puts on sweatpants*
*drives to coffee shop*
*orders 4 large coffees*

Stranger:
*looks at me*
"So how many kids do you have?"

— Mike Reynolds (@PuzzlingPostDad) February 22, 2016

Oh you kids want to sleep in?
[blares lights]
It's too early?
[pokes eyelids]
MY HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.
[jumps on beds, elbows out]

— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 26, 2016

A large part of parenthood is spent watching all the things you used to love slowly disappear beneath a haze of Goldfish & Cheerios crumbs.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 22, 2016

If you've ever said something easy is "like taking candy from a baby," you've never tried to take candy from a baby. A baby will cut you.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 23, 2016

A scavenger hunt, but it's just our entire family trying to find my preschooler's jacket.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 22, 2016

All the kids who now hate One Direction will be out dancing to it in 30 years time, having a cry, then leaving to let the babysitter go home

— Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) February 23, 2016

My kids say I need to stop trying to embarrass them but joke's on them because I'm not even trying.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 25, 2016

Somewhere between having children and buying a minivan, we became those parents who wash and reuse cottage cheese containers.

— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) February 22, 2016

My favorite sound is when my kids tell me they are going to play outside.

— Meredith (@PerfectPending) February 26, 2016

Overheard my 6yo tell my husband to "hide the Oreos somewhere that mommy can't find them." #shesontome

— Morgan Shanahan (@the818) February 24, 2016

I do love my offspring but when I find out they ate my chocolate candy stash....Then I hate them. A lot.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) February 26, 2016

Woke my daughter for school and she literally growled at me. Brings a tear to my eye seeing her act like me a little more every day.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 23, 2016

4yo: "Hi, Daddy Daddy bo fatty!"

(Special thanks to whoever taught him that name game banana song thing)

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) February 23, 2016

Yes, we're friends, Jen. But not spend-my-Saturday-afternoon-with-a-dozen-4-year-olds-in-exchange-for-sheet-cake-friends, friends.

— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) February 26, 2016

I need that little Dig Dug character, but to get through my daughter's bedroom.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 26, 2016

I just had the "don't glue things to your walls" conversation with my 6 year old. How's your morning going?

— Jen Simon (@NoSleepInBklyn) February 26, 2016

7yo on movie plots: "The sweet characters always die first."

— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) February 26, 2016