Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Parenthood is good for people who want to to never get anything done ever again.

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) June 9, 2016

I created a drinking game where my husband & I listen to Kidz Bop after kids go to bed & drink whenever they've changed a dirty song lyric.

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) June 7, 2016

If you hate the idea of having hot dinners in your life, you should consider having kids.

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) June 7, 2016

"The horror, the horror"

-me, realizing it's my daughter's last day of preschool and that summer break is on the horizon.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 8, 2016

There are parents at this preschool graduation in formal wear and I just used water from an old sippy cup to get Dorito dust off my jeans.

— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 7, 2016

I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 8, 2016

Before kids I thought all the stories about mothers hiding in the bathroom, eating chocolate were an urban legend. Now I am one.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) June 6, 2016

As I drag the kids from their beds for the last day of school, somehow I know they'll be wide awake & up w/the sun to start summer vacation.

— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) June 7, 2016

One day my kid will learn "we'll see" really means no. But until that day....

— MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) June 6, 2016

What I say: I just need to pee.
What my kids hear: QUICK! Bathroom's about to become occupied for 30 sec let's take turns pooping for 25 min

— IAMTHEMILK (@KatiaDBE) June 8, 2016

I've learned that the quickest way to humble yourself is to challenge a 5-year-old to a memory card game.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) June 9, 2016

Listening to my kids argue on vacation is just like being at home except I have an ocean view.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 7, 2016

6-year-old: It's almost a little bit mostly completely done.

Not sure if that makes him an optimist or a politician.

— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) June 9, 2016

It's summer and my husband is working long hours all week, so I'm playing a game called, "How many times can I feed the kids Mac & Cheese?"

— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) June 9, 2016

We just got home after a week away and I'm seriously weighing the pros and cons of just burning our unpacked suitcases on the lawn.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) June 6, 2016

when you're there to watch your kid in a school assembly... a bunch of strange kids walk in... and turns out you're in the WRONG assembly

— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 7, 2016

I'd like to thank Kindergarten for teaching my son to read. Now sharing my I-C-E C-R-E-A-M is no longer an option.

— CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) June 9, 2016

I'm watching an ad for a KidzBop Live concert and not recoiling. MOTHERHOOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?

— Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101) June 9, 2016

My 4-year-old calls Dunkin' Donuts "Drunken Donuts."

I was going to correct her.

Then I realized it was the best idea ever for a bakery.

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 9, 2016