Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Truly underestimated how much of parenting is saying "get your finger out of there."— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 14, 2016
It's 9:30 PM on November 16th and my 8yo just got out of bed to ask me what time I think Santa will come on Xmas. This is parenthood.— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) November 17, 2016
Teenager: You know that new song-— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 15, 2016
Me: Have the Kidz Bop Kids covered it?
Teenager: I don't think so.
Me: Then no.
Trying to reprimand my toddler for her excess use of the word "doo-doo" without laughing..— MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) November 15, 2016
Clearly we're both four years old...
My kids can’t turn water into wine, but they can turn one outfit a day into nine baskets of dirty laundry.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 15, 2016
Toddler has resumed her potty strike; she even composed a new song entitled, "Pee-pee in the Potty is Never Going to Happen."— Sara (@smilely_gal) November 14, 2016
Remember before kids when leaving the house required almost no effort, but now it's like a low budget parade but way less cheery? Fun times.— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) November 17, 2016
I've worn the same thing to work every day this week: spit up on my shirt.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) November 17, 2016
Becoming a mom means adding...— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 14, 2016
On your To-Do List for all eternity.
7yo: *sitting in his chair, with legs crossed* Daddy, can you get me a bottled water?— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 15, 2016
(Apparently, I'm his personal assistant now.)
(I'm supposed to be visiting my daughter's class today but opted to go get good coffee first bc 6 hours is a long kindergarten day, girl.)— stacia l. brown (@slb79) November 17, 2016
Before I had kids, I didn't know it was possible to ruin someone's day by saying, "Brush your teeth, please."— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 15, 2016
Kids share their love for parents in different ways. One of those ways, I hope, is yelling "I don't love you" as you drop them off at school— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) November 17, 2016
I love that cute married thing we do where I tell the kids that dinner is ready, & my husband suddenly needs to use the bathroom for 30 min.— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 16, 2016
You know a nap isn't going to happen once a kid starts roaring at the book.— dadpression (@Dadpression) November 16, 2016
Me: Being a stay-at-home parent is so filling!— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 15, 2016
Her: You mean fulfilling, right
Me: (stuffing my face with goldfish crackers) No.
Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 15, 2016
Me: Will my cleaning distract you from homework?— Wendy S. (@maughammom) November 16, 2016
M: You sure? Because I don't have to clean right now
10: No it's ok
5yo: if you put on one more Leonard Cohen song I'll yell so that you can't hear it— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) November 16, 2016
Me: but this is a good one
5yo: NONE OF THEM ARE GOOD!!!
Wasn't enough that my 7yo spilled his red snow cone on the carpet. He decided to sit in it to kick it up a notch.— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 17, 2016
Well played, son.
My kid always has to have the last 5,000 words.— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) November 18, 2016