Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
When is the part where we all settle down for a long winter's nap?— Meredith (@PerfectPending) December 19, 2016
Having kids means you finally finish your Christmas shopping & then your kids give you their "updated" Christmas lists.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 19, 2016
The recipe never mentions how much wine you will need to get through baking cookies with your kids.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 21, 2016
I know you think you know creepy, but until a small human stands over you at 2am and whispers "My cars are awake", you don't know creepy.— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) December 20, 2016
[Married Pillow Talk]— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 19, 2016
Husband: Tell me what you want
Me: I want you to move the elf tonight.
I was excited for my kid's first Xmas program til it occurred to me I will have to sit through a zillion of these in the next twelve years.— Selfies to Selfless (@SelfiesSelfless) December 21, 2016
That moment when you finally finish the last batch of rolled Christmas cookies and your kids lost interest 40 mins ago.— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) December 21, 2016
I love that cute married thing we do where the kids open their gifts on Christmas Day & my husband pretends to know what "we" got them.— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 22, 2016
If I've learned anything in 8 years as a parent it's that I still have a lot to learn. Oh & kids know everything & aren't afraid to tell you— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) December 19, 2016
Lady in a store: Merry Christmas!— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 20, 2016
4-year-old: I don't want to marry Christmas.
4: Well, maybe I do.
I just paid three hundred fake dollars for an imaginary cookie. Even the pretend economy is in bad shape...— MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) December 21, 2016
Lower your expectations for a relaxing school break.— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) December 19, 2016
Yes. Right there.
*Drinks five Red Bulls*— ❄SardonicTart❄ (@SardonicTart) December 18, 2016
"Ok I'm ready to wrap gifts now."
"If you eat all 24 pieces of your Advent calendar in one day it is still not Christmas."— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) December 20, 2016
Me...to the 4 year old.
All I want for Xmas is for my son to remember to bring his gym clothes home.— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) December 22, 2016
7yo: Why did you pick me up from my friend's house?!?— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 22, 2016
Me: Mommy said to
7yo: You need a reason!
Me: I just do what she says same as you
6: Mooom! My brother just threw an Oreo at my head!— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 19, 2016
6: Yeah, I know, he's so mea-
Me: Were you able to save the Oreo?!
In the race between my kids picking out a snack from the pantry and me picking out a show on Netflix, nobody wins.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) December 20, 2016