Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

My daughter treats me like I applied for the position of mom and she's concerned she's not providing enough work to justify my wage.

— New Bitch® (@BookisherBunny) September 26, 2014

75% of parenting is just looking for things your children can't find.

— Sam (@sammyj_04) September 28, 2014

Kids are like sponges. They smell bad.

— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) September 23, 2014

"Look, in just one Phil Collins song you can age 20 years." - me explaining Tarzan to my 3yo

— lyz lenz (@lyzl) October 3, 2014

Amount of damage will it cause times how long it keeps them occupied divided by amount of alcohol in the house.

- Parenting algorithm.

— Noir (@Go2Slp) October 2, 2014

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