Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more.
Do I love my son who loves Spider-Man? Yes. Will I always be there for him? Yes. Would I love him more if he liked Batman? Of course— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) June 25, 2018
No one is full of more false hope than a parent bringing a chair to the beach.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 28, 2018
only I can understand my kid. she’s like “BDIDKDKODKDHJXUDHEJSLOSJDHDUSJMSOZUZUSJSIXOJ” and I’m like “ok I will get you a piece of sausage in just a minute”— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 27, 2018
Sorry I’m late, had to wait for my toddler to go through the 5 stages of grief putting on a pair of pants.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 23, 2018
Hell hath no fury like a toddler who asked their parent to do something for them, but... “NOT LIKE THAT!”— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) June 28, 2018
Thoughts & prayers for my son who is having trouble connecting to the Fortnite server this morning.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 23, 2018
Asking your child to go get their sibling for dinner is just asking them to stand next to you and scream their sibling's name.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 27, 2018
"It's my vacation too," I whisper, as I cram another plastic pail into a beach bag that weighs more than my two children combined.— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 27, 2018
My 6-year-old ate three packages of cookies, then poured water over her face like she just finished a marathon.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 29, 2018
I've never been so proud.
If you like having a constant sense of creeping guilt without really knowing why, you’re just gonna LOVE parenthood— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 22, 2018
You’ll know my 15 minutes of fame have arrived when “Woman Throws Breastpump off Downtown Office Building” headlines the evening news.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) June 28, 2018
My three year old’s bowling ball has been making its way down the lane for six days. How is your summer going.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 23, 2018
Welcome to your summer pregnancy. Breathing makes you sweat.— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) June 29, 2018
I successfully hid chocolate chip cookies from my children, making today’s parenting score:— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 27, 2018
Summer vacation with my kids is just me asking, “Have you brushed your teeth today?”— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 28, 2018
Life teaches us that you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) June 28, 2018
Kids teach us that you can break a LOT of eggs and not be able to make an omelette at all.
Start vacuuming every time your kids sit down to watch TV, so everyone understands that if mom can’t relax, no one can.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 28, 2018
FRIEND: My kid was mvp of his basketball team.— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) June 28, 2018
ME: My kid misses when he tries to high-5
“...AND THEN THE LADY LAYS AN EGG AND SHE AND A GUY DO SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE AND THEN A BABY COMES...”— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 27, 2018
- my son loudly sharing his sex knowledge in a crowded Roman restaurant