Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
CHECKLIST:
— Cam Banks (@boymonster) January 28, 2015
[] Are you warm
[] Did you eat breakfast
[] Not that sugary kind, real breakfast
[] Be kind to others
[] Yes even your brother
"You're not the boss of me", I whisper under my breath, as I make 4 different lunches for my kids.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 28, 2015
Most of parenting is just spelling words out loud.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) January 28, 2015
Whining doesn't make it feel better, but I'm going to keep doing it anyway because I'm not a quitter.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) January 26, 2015
- my 10 year old
My kids just played together for 30 minutes before a fight broke out. If you need me, I'll be on the phone with Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) January 28, 2015
4-year-old: What happens when we run out of Cheez-Its?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2015
Me: We go to the store.
4: What if the store is out?
Me:
4:
Me: We pray.
The hardest part about being a parent is pretending like you know what you're doing.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 30, 2015
First kid: We have two hours to be at the park!
Last kid: We have ten minutes left to stop at the park!
— Kathy kissingthefrog (@lifewiththefrog) January 26, 2015
My 4yo can't remember what snack was at school today, but he can repeat word for word everything I said about you on the phone 6 weeks ago.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 29, 2015
My kids finally hate that Pharrell song.
NOW I'm happy.
— The People's Goddess (@ShoutingGoddess) January 28, 2015
At what age do kids go from asking you for answers to everything to knowing everything themselves?
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) January 29, 2015
I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 26, 2015
Dad, we're right in front of you
Uh..... go ask your mom.
Found out my son has been wearing the same socks and underwear for three days. Glad he's going green.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) January 29, 2015
Anyone who says family dinner is the root of healthy development in kids has clearly never tried feeding mine. #misery #stress #hysterics
— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) January 26, 2015
Since Boston got all our snow, can they take all our kids who are off school?
— Kristen Chase (@thatkristen) January 27, 2015
Why all the bitching about the snow day? We've already played Legos, playdough, watercolored, read books...OH GOD IT'S NOT EVEN 9AM HELLLLP
— Amy Shearn (@amyshearn) January 27, 2015
Let's take a moment of silence for all who are home w/kids during #Snowmageddon Let us pray Red Cross gives free alcohol to those in need.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) January 26, 2015
I love the "work at home" option on snow days. 6yo plays the boss, 7 portrays the annoying guy in the next cubicle, & 14 is the lazy intern.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) January 27, 2015
The start of the kids' bedtime is like a Thursday at work: excitement that freedom is near, but plenty of work to do before it's official.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 30, 2015
ParentNormal Science: Did you know that when a pacifier falls in the dark it disappears forever?
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 25, 2015
Sleep is overrated and unnecessary.-Kids
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) January 30, 2015
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