Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
*watches child put on shoes for what appears to be an infinite amount of time*
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 12, 2015
I've got 3 Reese's peanut butter eggs in my purse.
I plan on enjoying them in the luxury of a locked bathroom.
— swingin'utters (@TheDoeOrTheDeer) March 13, 2015
I haven't had an uninterrupted shower in nearly two years.
Cherish the little things, childless people.
— Creed (@novicefather) March 10, 2015