Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Apparently, when my toddler asks me to play with him, what he really means is, sit next to me, watch me play and don't touch my damn toys
— April McCormick (@1sttimemomndad) June 5, 2015
I scream. You scream. We all scream because we're parents and this shit is hard.
— Aaron Gouveia (@DaddyFiles) June 1, 2015
Most of parenting is pretending you know WTF your kid just drew for you.
— the_mom_dot_com (@minivanthug) May 31, 2015