The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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is this a threat pic.twitter.com/AW6HrYFjhj
— thirty year old woman yells at cloud (@lolennui) August 9, 2021
"Perf!" she typed (things were not perf)
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) August 7, 2021
Any flight can be a Delta flight if you refuse to get vaccinated.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 9, 2021
hi yes I am ready for this Pixar movie https://t.co/i88iih9jyG
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) August 8, 2021
no i know nobody who owns a borzoi does drugs cuz if i was walking around my house high and saw this my consciousness would crumple pic.twitter.com/163NBBTFSc
— lindley (@benicetome) August 9, 2021
I’m sorry but how hot was Freud’s mom
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) August 8, 2021
idc i’ll wave at a baby 100 times if they keep waving😭😂
— 🤍🥀 (@glevisha) August 12, 2021
when I met my husband, I said I lived in Brooklyn even though I actually lived in Connecticut, and he said he lived in Brooklyn even though he was really just visiting from Minnesota. But against all odds we came together bc we shared a fundamental value. Lying
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) August 12, 2021
The absolute chokehold the hibiscus flower had on my late 90s fashion choices… walking around looking like an 11 year old Trader Joe’s apprentice pic.twitter.com/ELDRXRQliS
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) August 11, 2021
2020: omg we’re entering hell
— julia shiplett (@juliashiplett) August 12, 2021
2021: ok so how do we make hell cozy
I hate this pandemic, if I wanted to waste my 30’s I would have gotten married and started a family.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) August 11, 2021
My fall plans The delta variant pic.twitter.com/OoBsUygJwp
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) August 11, 2021
when i was in college i had a therapist recommend i “cut my parents out” bc they “sounded really toxic” and i was like “ok but they support me financially so then i wouldn’t be able to pay for therapy” and she was like “oh never mind”
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonnelly) August 9, 2021
Why’s it always “nyc smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”
— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) August 11, 2021
Goofiest shit I ever did while I was high pic.twitter.com/Kk4DI9lm68
— OG (@trillary_banks_) August 12, 2021
i only know about the astrological signs that pertain to me or men who have wronged me
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) August 9, 2021
Do you think when Taylor Swift wrote “maybe I asked for too much” it was about her trying to get Jake Gyllenhaal to shower
— maybe: clare (@clur19) August 9, 2021
Lmfaoo my nail salon is NOT playing with y’all 😂 pic.twitter.com/PiQtjRslA9
— skin bae ✨ (@buymechocolate_) August 12, 2021
it’s fucked up that bears are dangerous when they look like that
— j (@fr0wns) August 11, 2021
i am not like other girls, i’m worse
— Yaya (@yammajesty) August 10, 2021