The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
well, well, well if it isn’t all my “we’ll deal with it in January” chickens home to roost
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) January 3, 2023
The feminine urge to open a bookstore that is also a coffee shop and bakery and a flower shop
— nima (@softmoonbow) January 1, 2023
I like to think of Amy (burrito) and Annie (mac n cheese) as estranged sisters
— amil (@amil) January 4, 2023
The Evangelical girls in my class who weren't allowed to read "Harry Potter" because it "had witchcraft" now think they can cure measles with essential oils. Who is in potions class now, Gracelynn?
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) January 3, 2023
all these men vying for Speaker and none running to be Listener. makes u think
— Emma Friend (@EmmaYourFriend) January 5, 2023
In endless pursuit of a shoe that can only be described as orthopedic but slutty
— I would prefer not to (lolennui@mstdn.social) (@lolennui) December 31, 2022
i think part of the reason ppl cry during wedding speeches is bc they’ve never heard their sibling say something kind about them
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) January 2, 2023
PSA: When I said “let’s pick it up in the new year” I meant from Monday 9th.
— Nancy Adimora (@NancAdimora) January 3, 2023
sorry straight women but it's super messed up to kiss a guy at midnight i mean it's New Year's Eve not New Year's Steve
— @lauren_flans on Insta; @helloitspierro on TikTok (@LaurenFlans) December 31, 2022
It’s always dry January when you have eczema
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) January 3, 2023
gabriella montez was reading at the New Years party because she was trying to complete her goodreads challenge before midnight
— jen (@minyardists) January 1, 2023
the ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. idk who she is but she is a monster she is not fit for human interaction
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) January 3, 2023
mic up random congress people like it's a nba game
— Caitlin Cruz (@caitlinrcruz) January 4, 2023
Whenever a man is in love he'll write "she is the strongest person i've ever known" on his birthday post to her and it's like what did u do to her kyle
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) January 4, 2023
MY DASHER IS WHO???? pic.twitter.com/ddCH65Kx7P
— mickey 🔪 (@joyridlng) January 2, 2023
When I watched Ratatouille I was like "there's no way that rat could control that guy", then I remember I let a rat control me for a year and a half
— 𝕾𝖔𝖕𝖍ੈ✩‧ (@Baycaked) January 2, 2023
Seinfeld is the best show ever. Nobody wants to work. Nobody has career goals. Nobody wants to start a family. All they wanna do is get laid and hang out with their friends. It's so inspirational.
— Mia Nie 🌟 Read my comic SAMSARA DREAMIN' (@girlwithhorn) January 1, 2023
i prefer giving people the hot shoulder (never leaving them alone)
— trash jones (@jzux) January 1, 2023
first dates in your 30s are awesome because you get to be asked when you want kids by someone you have no chemistry with
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) January 3, 2023
me every single night of the year: *stays up til 1am dicking around on the internet for absolutely no reason*
— emma lord (@dilemmalord) January 1, 2023
me on december 31: stay up until MIDNIGHT??? in THIS economy?????? SIR. good NIGHT
If you really love learning languages, you should learn Arabic, because no matter what, you will have to keep learning it for your entire life
— ElIa Wind (@ellulie@home.social) (@ellulie_) January 2, 2023
https://t.co/R62VRQQYAe pic.twitter.com/KvDGI8cKpz
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) January 5, 2023
I know I had a job 10 days ago I just can't seem to remember how to do it now.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) January 3, 2023
One thing about me..I will press “0” for the rest of my life until a real person answers the phone. Idc.
— Mona Kosar Abdi (@MonaKAbdi) January 3, 2023
Friend: "Send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!"
— Invis🍒 (@invis4yo) January 4, 2023
The picture: pic.twitter.com/VJnbw9gKbs
My favorite student eval from this past semester: "The class did not have the most thrilling content so I think she did the best that she could" 💀
— jasmine (@jasmineabukar) January 2, 2023
I would like to have a word with whoever it was that decided that all plus size people were into "fun sleeves"
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) January 3, 2023
why did nobody tell me we were apparently supposed to have spent the year filming short videos clips of everything we did for an end of year Instagram reel!!! all I’ve got are pictures like a geriatric millennial!!!!
— Madison Malone Kircher (@4evrmalone) December 31, 2022
Yes life is hard now but in the early 2000s your coworkers could secretly nominate you for What Not to Wear.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 31, 2022
sometimes i'm like why am i irrationally angry and then i'm like oh there's an overhead light on
— morgan sung (@morgan_sung) January 4, 2023
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