The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
i want to thank the makers of both chai tea concentrate and chicken broth for making their boxes look so similar that i attended a zoom meeting with a new drink i’m calling a dirty chicken noodle oatmilk latte, and hey it’s disgusting
— nash flynn (@itsnashflynn) March 1, 2022
Ur on wordle, I’m on my 30th attempt to guess my own password
— aurora… (@silicone_angel) February 27, 2022
“ok but our department was actually REALLY good. like professional level.”- every former theater kid about their high school plays
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 1, 2022
i had a friend who put a frozen burrito in the microwave and when it didn’t heat up she threw the burrito away and tried heating up a different one
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) March 3, 2022
paul rudd is so cute and I don’t mean that he’s hot I literally mean cute like I want to bake him cookies and pinch his cheek and call him a rascal
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) March 1, 2022
would Iove a queer bar called something normal. Instead it’s like here I am spending another night at the gaping hole
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) March 2, 2022
Pretty inspiring that I’ve been having a period 12 times a year for 20+ years and every single time it happens I am somehow surprised. Stunned, bamboozled, aghast, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time SHOCKED
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) March 3, 2022
me, watching the airplane’s wing during takeoff…trying to figure out if those little flaps are supposed to be moving like that: pic.twitter.com/7YO2EHFxIa
— Jess Gray (@HeyJessGray) February 26, 2022
my boss asked me where i see myself in 5 yrs and i told him "not here" and now i'm in a meeting with HR
— lili michelle لیلی (@lilsmichelle) February 28, 2022
Not only am I not making any progress on finding a boyfriend, I’m not making progress on finding a male best friend I can later marry when we both give up
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) February 27, 2022
When I see 4 men out to dinner, I’m like… who planned this?
— whatthefelk (@whattheFELK) February 27, 2022
I don’t want to watch this movie I want to watch Grueling Madonna Bootcamp pic.twitter.com/nhJdlKEqen
— Stewart&Chill (@Stewartandchill) March 3, 2022
Ppl should be required to pass a “how to move through space” course before shopping at Trader Joe’s
— Nori Reed (@realnorireed) March 1, 2022
Why drive 7 minutes when I can spend an extra $47 to have the food delivered to my doorstep?
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) February 27, 2022
The nurse asked me if I was sexually active with men or women, and I told her it depends on the night. She’s been typing for 10 minutes.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) February 28, 2022
When I said “email me any time,” I did not mean that.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) March 1, 2022
Where did Scar's accent come from. Did he study abroad
— Amber Treadway (@treadway_amber) March 3, 2022
........aint she write the damn book? https://t.co/7YETdlMUB0
— *ꜱɪɢʜ* (@hyphenkordei) February 26, 2022
Saw a baby so cute I said “Oh my God” out loud. Startled the mom and had to explain “Sorry, your baby is very cute.” So yeah, it’s been a little while since I was in public.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) March 3, 2022
photo: me on my wedding day with a man you've never seen before
— it’s me sally darr (@sallydarr) March 3, 2022
the caption: hard launch
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