The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
my grandma has declared she is “93 and over it” and no one has the heart to tell her she is actually 102
— Amber Jamieson (@ambiej) January 28, 2023
My husband and I plan out all of our meals for the week every single week and we’ve been doing it for over ten years and every time I go to write the list I can’t remember a single meal I’ve ever made except baked potatoes.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 28, 2023
cars should have a mean horn and a nice horn.
— Nikki 🙃 (@nkkdntn) January 31, 2023
every time I feel bad about how I look in an iPhone photo I remind myself what these cameras do to my girl the moon
— rachel wilkerson miller (@the_rewm) January 31, 2023
One time when we were visiting colleges for my sister we were on a tour led by this British girl except then halfway through the tour she dropped her accent and said she was a theater major and that’s how strong the theater program at that college was
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 31, 2023
I accidentally used dog shampoo this morning but I feel like such a good girl.
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) February 1, 2023
Beyoncé better price those tickets like someone who told people to quit their jobs last July 😭😭😭
— A - A Political Hater (@Deenike) February 1, 2023
January has 31 days
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) January 28, 2023
but Dry January has 6
had my first panic attack in a year today and my Apple Watch said “it looks like you’re working out!”
— maia (@mxmtoon) February 1, 2023
im in India and i was like omg so many cute guys are approaching me in public and asking me out i feel pretty 🥰 and my cousin was like it’s actually because everyone thinks American girls are easy
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 2, 2023
life can be pretty cool because you can get a bagel. but there’s also the horrors
— laurel (@pigeoncowboys) January 29, 2023
people who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) January 31, 2023
valentine’s day shopping for men is so hard.. what do yall like besides other girls pics??
— kira ^-^ (@kitkatalol) January 30, 2023
would you like 10 million dollars or would you like to be the world’s most clinically depressed 6 year old https://t.co/CF3DUuX0va
— Emma Berquist (@eeberquist) February 1, 2023
the food and drink you consume in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate and holy and harm-proof
— hil (@plume__) January 30, 2023
I just remembered that the sheets and duvet cover are in the dryer and I’d almost rather book a hotel room for the night than deal with all that
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) January 28, 2023
i'll never be a meal prep girl i much prefer the agony and the ecstasy of scrounging around for sustenance like a dog
— layla (@laylology) February 1, 2023
Sorry to the vinyls but Taylor Swift's early albums are best enjoyed on one of these bad boys: pic.twitter.com/lZqkkNDoc9
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) January 29, 2023
I’m not too good for Spirit Airlines. I lean IN to the chaos. I’m on this flight with no bra on, dehydrated with no plan to buy water and no wifi as soon as we takeoff. Just gonna be me, raw, staring at the back of the seat in front of me with JUST MY THOUGHTS
— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) January 28, 2023
my favorite part of grocery shopping is stopping in the oreo section just to see what those weird little freaks are up to now
— spegarius (@stephk_davis) January 31, 2023
pillow princess but not in a sexual way, i just rlly like to sleep
— ? (@aliyahInterlude) February 2, 2023
real conversation i just witnessed whie ringing up two guys and their new puppy a dog collar
— emma (@bipbopemma) January 29, 2023
guy 1: look at us breaking gender norms, we bought her a blue collar
guy 2: everyday we break gender norms were literally married mike
this person’s fridge has me at my breaking point. THE FRAMED PHOTO. the pOTTED PLANTS pic.twitter.com/cCq2jGceXI
— chelsea! (@chlsprry) January 29, 2023
not only are we seeing the downfall of netflix, we are also seeing the downfall of chill
— Cilantro.bb.95@aim.com (@bb_apes) February 2, 2023
I feel like 20% of the people i meet wherever i go are from ohio. The ohio diaspora is enormous
— lauren (@NotABigJerk) February 1, 2023
