The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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My photo app loves to be like “take a look back in time” and then show me a picture from the worst day of my life
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) August 2, 2021
we may have whiffed it pretty hard on the pandemic when it was very clear what to do, but now that there are a bunch of nuances and caveats I think we’re gonna crush it
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) July 31, 2021
My entire personality comes from the fact that, at a very young age, a person of authority told me that the more books I read, the more free pizza I’d get.
— Jhanteigh Kupihea (@jhanteigh) August 3, 2021
hello tampon at the bottom of my purse . I love doing this crazy life with u
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) August 3, 2021
“are you an early bird or a night owl?” idk man i am only good for 4 hours in the middle of the day, like, 11-3. i’m in a fugue state as i type this
— madrigal (@whatmaddness) August 3, 2021
I ran into my ex three months after he dumped me and he started the conversation with “long time no see.” Yeah….as per your request.
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) August 1, 2021
Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’
— ✨ (@bxwac) August 2, 2021
every time I eat a meal i'm like "that's it. I am never going to be hungry again". and lo and behold, a few short hours later... the unthinkable...
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) August 2, 2021
Saw someone say they’re boycotting any business that requires proof of vaccination to enter and it’s like babe it’s not a boycott if you’re not allowed inside.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) August 4, 2021
The dining table at our rental house is glass. This is what I see for the entire meal. pic.twitter.com/JmTyf6oymY
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) August 5, 2021
they should make a pill so that when you take it nobody else can be in the kitchen at the same time as you
— build-a-bear axolotl (@orchidcamp) August 2, 2021
instagram: look at my new boyfriend
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) August 3, 2021
twitter: I can't get a boyfriend
reddit: my [21F] boyfriend [53M] boyfriend forbids me from going into the basement and has a sock drawer full of missing women's driver's licenses, AITA for being uncomfortable? the wedding is in three hours
microdosing romance by flirting with everyone
— shereen (@delashereen) July 27, 2021
I ALREADY UPLOADED MY RESUME WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FILL OUT MY EMPLOYMENT HISTORY pic.twitter.com/iAINbYXx7L
— I hope this is satire... (@sablaah) August 3, 2021
Just saw a blue lives matter flag with a red line and a green line and I feel like we’re one more stripe away from a bunch of trucks driving around with accidental pride flags
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) July 31, 2021
I’m always so shook when a woman talks about her male therapist. Paying to talk to a man?? Bestie, how did we get here?!
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) July 31, 2021
People who can’t even explain photosynthesis trying to tell to me how this vaccine was made “differently than others” pic.twitter.com/xZAVct4j9V
— KB (@KaraRBrown) August 3, 2021
every time i fly i ask the universe to seat me next to someone fine and every single time the universe be like… no ♥️ enjoy this white grandpa
— king crissle (@crissles) August 2, 2021
Can I ask you a couple questions about your apartment? pic.twitter.com/deoBopiMNl
— Aubrey Hirsch (@aubreyhirsch) August 5, 2021
Are y’all ready to talk about how “my therapist said” has the same energy as “my cousin at the pentagon said” ?
— J🌶 (@Jani__Gee) August 2, 2021