I am yet again asking the olympics to simply let a regular non athlete person do the event first so I can understand how good these people are— kelsey mckinney (@mckinneykelsey) June 19, 2021
No I actually sleep better with this pile of unfolded laundry next to me— Emma Ketchum (@emmaketchup7) June 24, 2021
why doesn't hbo have a theme park. i want to go on the sopranos river cruise— أنيا anya (@unc00lniece) June 22, 2021
cancelling plans like “so sorry but it was actually a different, less depressed version of me that made those plans w you last week and the me that i am today doesn’t want to go.”— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) June 21, 2021
these two 🌚🌝 are disgusting. what are they smiling about? misogyny?— amelia elizalde (@ameliaelizalde) June 22, 2021
normalize me spending $400 whenever something upsetting happens— DEFCON 1 Bangs (@yuckybangs) June 23, 2021
my 7 yr old nephew: were you born in the 1900s?— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 19, 2021
me: oh... yes I guess so!
my nephew: [jaw dropping] oh my GOD
my love language is DMing coworkers a little joke when we're on the same zoom and seeing the slight upturn in their expression when they read it— jenny wen (@jenny_wen) June 21, 2021
Ok now that things are opening up in some places I guess everyone’s going on dates?? Some questions you can ask people if you’re feeling unsocialized:— Sarah Hagi (@KindaHagi) June 20, 2021
What’s your mother’s maiden name?
What street did you grow up on?
Name of your first pet?
Where did you go to elementary school?
Our grandparents used to walk 20 miles to school back in the day. I would’ve dropped out in the 5th grade too.— Cryp (@Crypperella) June 21, 2021
Romcoms gave me unrealistic expectations that I would be in a relationship— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) June 20, 2021
the bird flu? uh yea I sure hope it did— cal? (@cal_gif) June 20, 2021
Men will be like “you’re out of my league and I don’t deserve you & this is why I will not even attempt to do the bare minimum in our relationship”— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) June 21, 2021
The night before my wedding my hair dresser and Mua must sleep in my bed. I don’t want to hear story pls.— Survibing. (@TrishNovacane) June 22, 2021
Hey! If I’ve ever said anything weird I was just kidding— Natalie (@jbfan911) June 22, 2021
You learned to count cards? Coulda just asked me, it’s 52— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) June 22, 2021
bo burnham has the energy of a male character who was written by a woman— daisy tackett (@fatstevebuscemi) June 24, 2021
I can’t believe I’m supposed to take care of my whole body. It’s too many moving parts. I can’t keep up.— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) June 19, 2021