The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this weekās great tweets from women below, then visit our āFunniest Tweets From Womenā page for past roundups.
The line between villain and hero is at its blurriest when youāre convincing a coworker to go buy food with you even tho they brought lunch from home
— Tina Sieben (@wnbawife) November 12, 2022
You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women
— Teresa (@teresaeliz) November 14, 2022
On a mission to drive my hinge matches right down to zero pic.twitter.com/n4yQJYfNuM
— Hannah š²š (@theeyecollector) November 12, 2022
Nothing worse than calling your mom and she declines your call. What other life do you haveeee!?!?!
— Keke Palmer (@KekePalmer) November 14, 2022
My toxic trait is thinking wild animals would sense my kind spirit and leave me alone.
— iya ehime ora (@ehimeora) November 15, 2022
Iām two weeks older than my boyfriend so my favorite thing to do is say āwhen I was your ageā¦ā and then just describe whatever I was doing two weeks ago
— Colleen (@Coll3enG) November 13, 2022
Everyone keeps saying goodbye on Twitter but so far, we are all still here. I feel like I'm at a dinner party in the Midwest.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 15, 2022
āyou attract what you fearāahh a loyal boyfriend ahhhh
— aloā¦ (@aalondraa120) November 14, 2022
iMessage needs a āSent with Attitudeā option
— mumuā” (@Mualania) November 15, 2022
Leave Twitter just because itās lacking infrastructure and is terribly understaffed?
— The Madwoman in the Classroom (@heymrsbond) November 15, 2022
Babe, Iām a public school teacher š
siblings are important because theyāre like external hard drives for your memories and personality. you can text them stuff like āwhat do i want for Christmasā
— trash jones (@jzux) November 17, 2022
i love calling my parents on a sunday morning because when i call my mom it is like momā¦i ate a yogurt parfait and toast with butter and she says erica that is so great but when i call my dad it is always like: āerica ā¦it is time for you to start a business.ā
— ce n'est pas erica (@sourhoestarter) November 13, 2022
horrible news. been starting my days with 20-30 min of light yoga and unfortunately it really makes a difference, mentally and physically. iām so sorry
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) November 15, 2022
At my evangelical brother's wedding and contemplating choosing violence pic.twitter.com/pNFu4qT7aM
— DiscountšEmmašStone (@Buffalojilll) November 12, 2022
I hope someone writes a childrenās book about crypto so I can understand whatever the hell is going on with SBF and FTX.
— roxane gay (@rgay) November 15, 2022
when taylor swift wrote āthe great warā she was actually preparing us for the Battle of Ticketmaster. her mind!
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 15, 2022
me at the gym asking if anyone is using the 5 lb dumbbell pic.twitter.com/91Y5jW7C7W
— ivy *.ā§ (@ivyluvx) November 12, 2022
I went to college in the exact terrible years where you'd get super fucked up at a party then wake up in the morning to a facebook notification like "you were tagged in 84 pictures in the album BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL - SENIOR WEEK 2009" then brace to die of utter humiliation
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) November 17, 2022
it is 8AM iām sitting next to an uncle at the airport, he is going to paris. his flight leaves at 5pm
— rebecca (@abcdrih) November 15, 2022
i keep getting this ad for this dress where nobody on this set had ever seen a guitar before and itās making me feel crazy pic.twitter.com/uhwmFYqV6g
— a dozen rats in a trenchcoat (@stefschwartz) November 12, 2022
Iāve been described as āintrovertedā by dozens of men I didnāt want to talk to
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) November 13, 2022
Do yāall go on a practice zoom first to see how u look or do u just raw dog it
— Nori Reed (@realnorireed) November 17, 2022
Midwestern white people will name their kids "Brooklyn" and then be afraid of cities.
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) November 16, 2022
smoking weed before my errands bc apparently i want buying laundry detergent to be the worldās most difficult task
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) November 16, 2022
Adult friendships be like "I miss you,ā ā¦.lets hang out in March
— Nicole (@Nicoleally_) November 16, 2022
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