The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
do u think service dogs think other dogs are losers with no job or do u think they’re jealous of dogs with no job
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 17, 2021
after our fifth date my ex changed one of his dating app pics to a photo i took of him on our second date and i was like “omg he used the photo i took, does this mean he likes me?” anyway being 22 is crazy
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonnelly) November 18, 2021
She lost weight. She didn't make a deal with a sea witch. pic.twitter.com/SNzg4QEWs7
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) November 15, 2021
paid time off for family and medical leave is important yes but what about paid time off to be a little silly . to goof around
— i praydalor my sodakeep (@almondtiddies) November 18, 2021
The other day I told my mom about a lunch meeting I had with someone and she was like “oh did he live in Japan at some point” and I was like “no why” and she was like “I don’t know. just a question to pass the time”
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) November 14, 2021
would be a lot easier if my therapist could just like shadow me for a day
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) November 18, 2021
Love that Oprah’s new wave is sitting in her garden and getting all the girls to come and spill their business to her
— Comorienne 🇰🇲 (@_ShamGod) November 17, 2021
Worlds most bitchiest people:
— astro bully angie (@teaxtarot) November 13, 2021
1. Virgos
2. Dental hygienists
they said “y’a know what? Let’s give these window bars a FATASS” pic.twitter.com/j8Jpp2VFbG
— Allison (G)Reese (@reese_shapiro) November 14, 2021
i love me a burning hot shower 🥴 i be in that bih steaming like a rotisserie chicken 😂🤣
— brianna ♈︎ ❆ ☀︎ (@thebaddiebrii) November 15, 2021
My toxic trait is rewarding myself for being financially responsible by being financially irresponsible.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 17, 2021
Your honor this is literally boring
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) November 17, 2021
Girls will say shit like “oh I haven’t played Mario kart in a while I might be kinda bad” and then wait for the countdown to hit you with “I played competitively on Japanese servers for eight years”
— natalie ⛄️ (@american_sicko) November 17, 2021
when you moisturize and you’re too slippery to open the bathroom door? that’s your slime time. you can use it however you want.
— witch pony (@molly7anne) November 16, 2021
Why are vampires always wealthy in movies? Like how do they make a living lmao
— 🥣 (@pholanthropist) November 13, 2021
reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain and that’s why we’re all on twitter
— ꧁Madimoiselle꧂ (@drivingmemadi) November 17, 2021
[me arriving late to things] sorry supply chain problems
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) November 17, 2021
every time my period shows up i'm like "ooooh that's why i was crying in bed bath and beyond the other day"
— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) November 16, 2021
I like how when I order one thing from a company they email me every single day forever
— Lauren Lapkus 🍰 (@laurenlapkus) November 13, 2021
When I'm on my deathbed imma be like "I letf 40 million in the"... then die 😂😂😂😂😂
— JAYY_ 💅🏾 (@Jaytheofficialx) November 16, 2021
