The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
i am retired in the sense that i was tired yesterday and today i am tired again
— trash jones (@jzux) November 1, 2021
fashion right now is like "we designed the exact dress you want, but then we kept going and we cut a big hole right where your back rolls are. also there's only one strap so one boob will be higher than the other. good luck"
— raina (@quakerraina) November 1, 2021
love the post-party ritual of wondering how many people hate me
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) November 1, 2021
"23 people have died in this house"
— CocoBaby🌹🌼 (@steph_augustina) November 1, 2021
Families in horror movies: pic.twitter.com/rNLkbKdtSU
I just received an email that begins "I trust this email finds you well," and my dude, in the year 2021, that is an awful lot of trust.
— Maggie Smith (@maggiesmithpoet) November 3, 2021
As a career-oriented no nonsense brunette, I live in constant fear of my fiancé leaving me for a whimsical woman with joie de vivre who’s been the lead of this movie the whole time
— Dana Schwartz 🫀 (@DanaSchwartzzz) November 2, 2021
the idea of a notary is insane.... just some pervert who wants to be around while you sign things
— dylan gelula (@DylanGelula) November 1, 2021
pete davidson getting passed around like a middle schooler vape
— cindy ✯ (@RUNYOMONEY) October 31, 2021
more jobs should be about knowing a bunch of weird stuff and being kinda flirty
— aubrey (@aubreybell) November 4, 2021
[handing out candy to a kid with a really attractive father]
— McErin☘ (@colleen_eileen) October 31, 2021
so do you have 1 Christmas or 2?
The way colonel is pronounced is ridiculous.
— cajun rice (@JaggedEdgeAF) November 2, 2021
Was it REALLY a dinner with coworkers if you didn’t say something that haunts you for weeks after???
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) November 3, 2021
are duolingo employees ok? pic.twitter.com/PUgOJQQET3
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) November 3, 2021
why as a shoulder bag.....would you fall off of my shoulder every time i bend over ¿??
— ✨grassfed coochie✨ (@janaethebaee) November 2, 2021
are you not embarrazzed
More movies should go the grease route and have an ending that makes no fucking sense
— honest jabe (@jaynooch) November 1, 2021
Seeing someone you know at the store but you don’t feel like stopping and talking so you try to avoid them at all cost. That’s an olympic sport.
— Jasmyn (@JasmynBeKnowing) October 30, 2021
Dune was good but a responsible Timothee Chalamet owner would NEVER place him in direct sunlight like that
— Amy (@lolennui) October 31, 2021
self undiagnosing. I'm fine
— fatima⁷ (@fatimasvogue) November 2, 2021
So if Halloweentown has a mayor and ALSO a Pumpkin King does that mean that Halloweentown is a constitutional monarchy
— Kristin Chirico (@lolacoaster) October 31, 2021
I’ll sleep when I’m dead. But also 11 hours/night when I’m still alive
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) November 1, 2021
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