The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
sorry I’m late, my cat and I were exchanging slow blinks
— ❤️🔥 glennis ❤️🔥 (@glennis__menace) September 9, 2021
What if every time a girl told me her name was Madison I said “oh like The Square Garden?”
— claire parker (@SorryDontClaire) September 8, 2021
me: dating sucks, lot of weirdos out there
— trash jones (@jzux) September 9, 2021
me on dates: hey i had three beers before you got here do you believe in ghosts
I find this to be less of an informative sign and more of a poem pic.twitter.com/etviOsl3Hp
— raina (@quakerraina) September 8, 2021
a girl at starbucks complimented my lip gloss. i didn’t have the heart to tell her it was grease from the rotisserie chicken i just ate in the parking lot.
— 𝓶 ♡ (@Love_bug1016) September 8, 2021
So I’m supposed to work like all day cook for myself clean up after myself maintain my relationships stay fit and healthy and watch 12 hours of TikTok a day ummm you’re crazy
— Nori Reed (@realnorireed) September 5, 2021
Tumblr was such an insane era. Just a bunch of 14-year-olds learning graduate level gender and sexuality discourse from people with usernames like tac-hoe-belle
— Anne 🐍🦎🐢 (@GovernorAnne) September 4, 2021
having a non-covid related cough mad embarrassing
— ayanna❤️🔥 (@wowiwrite) September 9, 2021
my landlord painted over a fucking roach pic.twitter.com/b3vTHOrdgi
— chelsea, a human woman? (@chellzyeah) September 5, 2021
life so boring when you don’t got a crush to be delusional about
— Jane Redcorn (@wordtoMae) September 4, 2021
healing my inner child by purchasing every cute useless thing i see
— sarah lugor! (@sarahlugor) September 6, 2021
This is my kinda logic! pic.twitter.com/0DMKjvOQun
— Emma Dolan 💙 (@JustMissEmma) September 5, 2021
Just me and my debit card against the world
— Jackie M (@jackiiemmm) September 4, 2021
Wanna feel attacked???? Wear ripped jeans to any family event
— evny✨ (@evnystfu) September 9, 2021
the first woman to have a baby was probably like whaaaatttt the fuuuucckkkkkk
— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) September 9, 2021
british people need to get together and actively decide what is and what is not a "pudding" enough is enough
— Dana Schwartz 🫀 (@DanaSchwartzzz) September 8, 2021
Wow these two actors have good chemistry
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 8, 2021
*Looks up movie on Wikipedia*
Ohhhh, they were fucking
Can’t sleep, thinking about the time Farrah Abraham gave a magazine interview where she said she and her 4 year old daughter were taking time apart bc they were headed in separate directions or something
— Georgia Shenk (@GeorgiaShenk) September 7, 2021
Girls don’t like boys girls like those bowls that aren’t quite bowls but aren’t quite plates that are really good for pasta
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) September 8, 2021
Another day, another dollar (transferred from my savings to checking account)
— Myra Molloy (@ManeepatMolloy) September 4, 2021