The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
I have nothing cute to wear for the Kia Summer Sales Event
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) June 29, 2022
my mom was like “when you talk about your ‘childhood trauma’ do you mean the trauma you gave to other people in your childhood?”
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) July 1, 2022
if i saw a minion in real life i would put it in the microwave
— trash jones (@jzux) June 30, 2022
Hi! I hope this email finds you in another dimension where none of this is happening and everything is fine.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) July 1, 2022
me one second after I’ve texted myself a reminder of something: ooh who texted me
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 30, 2022
I hope the Barbie movie is set up like Toy Story in that it’s about a kid and all her Barbies that she makes kiss. and then all of the Barbies kiss
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) June 28, 2022
sending friends tweets I think they might like is the same thing as those crows that leave little gifts of bottle caps and string
— gal pacino (@snailfraud) June 29, 2022
We are all dogs in god’s hot car
— 💲🆎7️⃣3️⃣ 🍸⭕️🆖 (@Sabletoothtigre) June 25, 2022
Instead of “antidepressants” how about “moodicine”
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) June 27, 2022
It's been 20 years since Avril Lavigne told us "life's like this" and I still refuse to believe her
— Kona Slater (@KonaSlater) June 30, 2022
I cannot explain why but jaywalking with strangers makes me feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself
— tony stark apologist 🌸 (@divinely_x) June 25, 2022
cat: [enjoying being petted] wait a minute I just realized I hate this
— Ella Zee 🌈👑 (@EllaZee5) June 28, 2022
I've watched every episode of America's Next Top Model and I still can't take a decent picture.
— Marl (@Marlebean) June 27, 2022
i actually love to swoon. nobody wants to get their fucking ass up and make a girl swoon these days
— Bolu Babalola 🍯🌶 (@BeeBabs) June 27, 2022
when my chiropractor says relax your shoulders https://t.co/vVDw3hnkVK
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) June 26, 2022
last night at a bar i overheard an adult man ask his group of adult friends “are you guys hungies?” deeply unsettling. haunting, even.
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) July 1, 2022
When I say “I hate drama” I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people's drama? Big fan.
— Eize Basa (@PonchoRebound) June 28, 2022
you want me to "get fit"? the thing that ruined chris pratt??!
— maura quint (@behindyourback) June 29, 2022
i love that bands still pretend to leave before their encore. like peekaboo for adults
— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) June 26, 2022
The Queen’s face 5 seconds after she was told to “calm down” pic.twitter.com/obKnX3bKJ7
— an english human 🦔 (@English_Channel) June 30, 2022
One minute you're young and carefree and the next you're saying things like “Sorry I can’t make it to book club tonight, my sciatica is flaring up again.”
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 30, 2022
I’ve heard people blast all sorts of music on the subway, but today was the first time I heard a true crime podcast at full volume. The times are changing.
— Sharron Paul (@Sharronica) July 1, 2022
Not me googling “Black Death what was everyday like” trying to figure out how to do life rn
— Nori Reed (@realnorireed) June 30, 2022
Some personal and exciting news: I just woke up from a nap, and I don't know who I am
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) June 30, 2022
How I feel when I go clubbing pic.twitter.com/GsDVH4Tckk
— Dr Ruth Clemens (@RuthieClems) June 29, 2022
I was told there would be a handbasket.
— Liz (@lizzard1278) June 30, 2022
oh you’re jet lagged from your cool european vacation? well i am also jet lagged. from staying w my mom in my nearby hometown. apparently a 10 hour time difference and reliving childhood trauma have exactly the same effect on your body.
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) July 1, 2022
He’s a 10 but he is a man
— Annabelle ➐ (@Annabllebitch7) July 1, 2022
The closest I've ever come to winning the lottery is finding a rogue onion ring in my fries.
— Pru (@prufrockluvsong) June 28, 2022
who’s my primary care doctor? that’s me & my 18 open browser tabs, babe
— chase (@_chase_____) June 29, 2022
does anyone know what to do??? like just in general
— charles entertainment cheese (@jmurffff) June 30, 2022