The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
love that thing where someone in the family couldn't say your name right when they were a toddler and as a result all of your family is always so seriously like, "Hey, Weezie,"
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) September 2, 2022
We’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t autocorrect being a hater yet again
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 5, 2022
every midwestern person i meet loves telling me about an amazing food place they grew up w/ and it always has a name like “clurmpees”
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 5, 2022
Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never”.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 4, 2022
Having a dog makes you someone who says “have a good one!”
— Carrie Rosen (@carrierosen) September 8, 2022
We’re on a huge rock flying through space, prob ok to wear white after Labor Day
— Sarah Sweeney (@heysarahsweeney) September 5, 2022
don't feel bad that you're never going to be an astronaut or an olympian or the president. beat yourself up over more realistic failures, like the fact that you will NEVER catch up with all the 90-day fiance content that's out there because you started too late. and that's okay!
— Erin electric cord of liberty Ryan (@morninggloria) September 5, 2022
all the royal family under one roof for the first time in years is the real Knives Out 2
— bletchley punk (@alicegoldfuss) September 8, 2022
Can't believe they are going to make a MAN queen. This woke nonsense has gone too far.
— Nat Guest (@unfortunatalie) September 8, 2022
TONIGHT: a brand new bombshell enters the villa pic.twitter.com/hTlwPdGUo0
— lil 🐈⬛ (@dveitred) September 8, 2022
in dire need of one of those chemical peels that makes you shed a layer of skin like a reptile, but not just for my face- for my entire body, mind, and soul
— folu (@notfolu) September 7, 2022
My heart is with 🇨🇦right now, your money is about to get so ugly.
— Laurie Kilmartin- Gutsy, Ep 6, Apple TV 9/9 (@anylaurie16) September 8, 2022
Knocked on my sister's door and she was like "what do you want?" and I just smiled at her and said "I just wanted to see your face" and calmly left and now she is freaked out and irritated and that is how you ruin a sibling's day 🤪🙂 it is psychological warfare
— Bolu Babalola (pure) 🍯&🌶 (@BeeBabs) September 3, 2022
Lucky is he who gets the silent treatment for three consecutive days.
— S🌟tella (@Havish_AF) September 7, 2022
mediating a talk between my parents via phone. it’s about how my dad flicked away a spider that my mom was “having a conversation with”
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 7, 2022
so great to see you this weekend! i have no idea what i said because when i socialize i black out and go to a different realm with pretty colors and shapes where i am no longer afraid but!!! we must hang again soon
— Ingrid Ostby (@ingridostby) September 5, 2022
Like I said. NONE OF MY BUSINESS. None of my concern. https://t.co/VObLMdU9rA
— Bolu Babalola (pure) 🍯&🌶 (@BeeBabs) September 2, 2022
In the age of cell phones, the area code has become the ancestral clan name or heraldry. It is a marker of old stories, loyalties, a statement that says "there was a land I came from but am there no longer"
— With A Martyr Complex (@MartyrWith) September 5, 2022
two straight weeks of three-digit temperatures in the beginning of september are the Final Boss you must defeat in order for summer to end
— Erin electric cord of liberty Ryan (@morninggloria) September 6, 2022
Everyday I shake my fist at god for giving me good taste with no inherited wealth
— Nori Reed (@realnorireed) September 5, 2022
is there anything more threatening than a friendly reminder?
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 6, 2022
Me turning to face the window on my flight today pic.twitter.com/px6iH1kQPk
— Rose Dommu (@rosedommu) September 7, 2022
prince william and kate changed their instagram names faster than a 27-year-old woman who is marrying a mediocre dude who does the bare minimum and in return, she will honor him by taking his last name one-millisecond post-wedding vows on all social media platforms
— rachael burke (@thatsso_rachael) September 9, 2022
Me watching Harry spit on Chris pic.twitter.com/nmDccne9Xs
— get confident, stupid (@shayfil666) September 6, 2022
congratulations white people on getting your "solange bey and jay in the elevator" sized scandal
— folu (@notfolu) September 6, 2022
the uterus is the original 3d printer
— Lizzie Logan (@lizzzzzielogan) September 7, 2022
every friend group needs a tik tok farmer, a meme harvester, a film accountant, a news duster, a restaurant detective and a Jeff
— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 7, 2022
this whole time i thought florence pugh was the full name of the girl from florence and the machine. see... this is why i stay out of white business.
— king crissle (@crissles) September 6, 2022
this looks like the seating on spirit airlines https://t.co/7Ae4aSzw8L
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) September 3, 2022
Every day, I experience three levels of crippling anxiety: personal (money), national (democracy) and global (extinction). BUT… as soon as I get them out of the way, I am highly productive.
— Laurie Kilmartin- Gutsy, Ep 6, Apple TV 9/9 (@anylaurie16) September 4, 2022