Everyone has their own food preferences, but when it comes to bagels, people have OPINIONS.
From flavor to topping to slicing style, there are many different approaches to bagels, and the good people of Twitter have made it clear there are correct methods and criminal ones. Luckily, most seem to be in agreement on one thing: Bagels are delicious.
In honor of National Bagel Day, here are 35 funny and relatable tweets about bagels.
On a scale of 1 to "everything bagel", how good are everything bagels?— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 22, 2013
CAUTION : THE ROADS ARE SO DANGEROUS RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU WANNA GO GET ME SOME BAGELS, THEN THEY ARE FINE— yessica haircut (@hellohappy_time) March 13, 2018
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s all those onion bagels.— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) September 3, 2017
To: The Whole Company— tara shoe (@tarashoe) November 7, 2014
Subj: FREE BAGELS IN KITCHEN
would be sucha good idea you guys
Everything bagels. You are very aptly named. You're everything.— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2013
[after I cut a bagel] would you like the side that is somehow three times larger than the original bagel or the side that is the first object ever to have only two dimensions— Jake (@dubiousrhetoric) February 18, 2018
Wish I was jokin when a say one of my fave things about having nails on is bein able to get me bagel out the toaster without burning ma fingers x— Em (@__emilyatkinson) October 7, 2018
Everything bagels are great to eat if you like storing them in your teeth for the next 12-14 months.— kames. (@KimmyMonte) May 14, 2016
Everything bagels are phenomenal but sometimes they make people overlook the underrated poppyseed bagel, which is a damn shame— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 20, 2018
People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 7, 2017
Overheard in my house:— John Hodgman (@hodgman) March 26, 2017
Q: Are you OK with everything?
A: Yes. I love everything.
Topic was bagels.
Omg if there was an everything bagel fragrance I would wear her— Jonathan Van Ness (@jvn) April 17, 2018
forgot the name for wreaths and called them christmas bagels— kames. (@KimmyMonte) December 3, 2018
I want to open a Buddhist bakery that specializes in nothing bagels.— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 7, 2018
[opens freezer] Hey where did the pizza bagels come from?— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) January 18, 2015
Well son, when a pizza & a bagel love each other very much...
3 has requested five bagels for breakfast.— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) November 15, 2019
Not to sound dramatic but if you're from New Jersey and get your bagels at Dunkin Donuts you need to find Christ and reevaluate your morals— Caviar Sanchez (@drrotti) October 21, 2017
*puts on romantic music*— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) January 5, 2015
*scatters pizza bagels all over the bed*
They’ll just call any old round piece of bread with a hole in it a “New York bagel.”— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) March 14, 2016
You’re not fooling anyone, New York-adjacent bagels.
"woah there that's a lot of cream cheese on your bagel"— lohanthony (@lohanthony) February 8, 2014
wOoOaAaaH there that's a lot of asshole in your personality shut up
It's amazing there are no love songs about everything bagels.— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 20, 2013
I’m just gonna keep eating bagels until things start to make sense.— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) September 18, 2018
Lady at the store bought the last of the fresh bagels, so I stole her cart because I wanted them. Not sure what to do with her baby though.— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) January 5, 2012
I love smoked salmon bagels more than Kanye loves Kanye.— Slightly funny Jew (@Dani_Feld) January 27, 2014
Bagels make the worst DVDs— Megan Amram (@meganamram) September 20, 2011
I just had a 20 minute conversation about cheese bagels and if you can't understand that, we can't be friends.— Northern Lights 🐢🦕🦖 (@PinkCamoTO) April 12, 2019
[getting urine test results]— Terry F (@daemonic3) April 11, 2018
You've tested positive for opiates-
ME: probably the bagel I had
-and THC, cocaine, steroids, and also you're pregnant
ME: it was an everything bagel
I hate when people do a sloppy cream cheese spread on their bagels. Give the fucking bagel the love it deserves and make your spread even.— J (@JackJ) March 15, 2015
interesting how u can eat an everything bagel n still feel like u have nothing— lil arab (@sweatyhairy) February 19, 2018