You know you’re obsessed with your dog when you provide them with constant attention, endless kisses and snuggles, and a generally cushy lifestyle. Your pup is your queen. And she (or he!) is so worth it.
If you treat your canine companion better than you treat the human members of your family — including your partner — then the tweets below are tailor-made for you.
Here are 26 oh-so-relatable tweets that will hit close to home with couples who would do absolutely anything for their doggos.
My dogs sleep on a dog bed. It's a king size one in the master bedroom that my husband and I sleep on too, but yeah, it's a dog bed.— Stacey (@skittle624) November 3, 2017
*Arriving home at the end of the day*— sophielou (@sophielou) July 17, 2019
Me: Hi handsome
Me: Sorry I was talking to the dog
Husband: Sometimes I think you love the dogs more than you love me.— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 26, 2019
Me: (awkward silence)
Wife: I think you're taking the idea of the dog being part of the family too far.— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) June 27, 2017
Me: [sitting dog at table with plate and silverware] why
I just found out that my husband fills the dog's water dish not from the tap, but from the fridge's water purifier feature.— Samantha Joel (@datingdecisions) May 7, 2019
"She'd do the same for me", he said.
wife: "have you spent all our money on stuff for the dog again?"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) June 8, 2016
[the dog rolls past the window on two hoverboards]
me: "okay yes"
wife: You forgot to turn the TV off last night— Josh (@iwearaonesie) July 25, 2016
[flashback to me leaving it on so the dog could finish watching Air Bud]
me: No I didn't
My husband and I get along better since realizing how much our yelling upsets the dog.— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) August 22, 2019
My wife and I have taken four photos together in the last two years, meanwhile we have ninety three photos of our dog sleeping since last week.— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 22, 2018
My husband told me he’s not feeling well and I told him I didn’t have time to worry about that...my dog is sneezing and she needs me.— Stacey (@skittle624) July 12, 2018
Wife: “You want to come upstairs?”— Bart (@bartandsoul) November 11, 2018
Me: “Hell yes!”
Wife: “I was talking to the dog.”
[leaving for work]— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 18, 2017
*gives wife a quick kiss*
*spends 10 minutes saying bye to the dog*
My wife is working late tomorrow and I’m going to let the dog have extra junk food and watch R-Rated movies.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) November 10, 2017
Wife: Why do you have to blow your nose so loud?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 22, 2018
Me: I blow my nose at a normal volume.
Wife: You scared the dog.
My dog and I have this cute bedtime routine where he sleeps in my husband’s spot and I let him.— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 15, 2019
My wife and I go on vacation so we can talk about how much we miss our dog.— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 26, 2018
My girlfriend got our dog a raincoat and it's so cute I'm moving to Seattle so she has to wear it every day.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 28, 2015
I want to surprise my wife with plans for a vacation getaway but I want the surprise to be that it’s just me and my dog going.— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) September 2, 2019
Me asleep with an imperceptible nose whistle, wife makes me go to the guest room.— Bart (@bartandsoul) August 17, 2019
The dog snores, farts, growls, and drools on the pillow, wife makes him the little spoon.
My husband said let’s cuddle, so he took one dog and I took the other two, and we cuddled.— Stacey (@skittle624) July 20, 2019
WIFE: Stop spending money on stupid stuff— Floyd is dead (@dafloydsta) August 17, 2016
WIFE: What the hell?
[dog walks by in a tuxedo]
ME: He's getting married, Karen
Texting my wife when we were dating - What are you wearing?— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 18, 2016
Texting my wife now - Did the dog poop?
WIFE: What are you doing?— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 25, 2017
ME: IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
WIFE: You're teaching the dog karate?
ME: Then it's exactly what it looks like.
wife: Do you love the dog more than-— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 8, 2017