Siblings fight about seemingly anything and everything. No one knows this better than their parents.
The funny moms and dads of Twitter often share the unpredictable reasons behind their children’s most heated arguments, from imaginary scenarios to personal competitions.
We’ve rounded up 35 too-real tweets about the random things siblings fight over.
My kids are arguing about whether their imaginary pool in their imaginary mansion has an imaginary diving board and now I have to break up a real slap fight.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 23, 2017
Today’s car argument brought to you by— meghan (@deloisivete) May 17, 2022
4: yes animals kiss
6: no they don’t, they only hug
My kids are currently arguing over whose blood tastes better based on who has more mosquito bites.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 24, 2018
My kids are arguing about the way they breathe, so yeah, it is possible to wish you were dead before 7am.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 29, 2016
My kids are all arguing about which one of them has more cheese on their pizza so, sure, I highly recommend having children.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 5, 2017
8 and 11 were arguing for 15 minutes about what day it was.— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) April 9, 2020
I didn’t interrupt because I don’t know the answer either.
My kids are arguing over who's been the nicest today and the irony is totally lost on them.— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) June 14, 2014
My son and daughter are arguing over these little bouncy balls and my daughter keeps yelling “DON’T TOUCH MY BALLS STOP TOUCHING MY BALLS” and I’m only human how am I supposed to hold this laughter in what if I damage my spleen— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 1, 2020
My kids were arguing over who was the faster runner. My daughter rolled her eyes and said, ‘I was already the fastest sperm once so I win at life.’ Christmas break is going strong over here— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 27, 2021
I can hear my kids arguing about which knife is sharper. I really should go check on them, but this couch feels so nice on my butt.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 12, 2016
My kids fighting for 20 minutes over who gets to help me vacuum is the definition of a mixed blessing.— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) April 20, 2021
"I wanted kids," I whisper as I push the grocery cart to the next aisle with my kids arguing about who picked the best lemon.— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) May 1, 2017
Bought a Swiffer & now my kids are arguing over who gets to use it first.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 26, 2018
This is a fight I can get behind.
My kids are arguing over what the square root of 144 is.— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) December 10, 2021
6 year old claims it is 12, but 4 year old is insisting it is doody head.
They are at an impasse.
My kids are arguing over who is "more epic-er."— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) August 12, 2014
I vote for whoever learns to use the English language correctly first.
Kids are arguing about who their favorite YouTuber is.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 14, 2017
What a time to be alive.
My kids are arguing over who can do a better bellyflop.— Witches Brew (@banannie_x) August 11, 2022
They will argue about anything. Anything!
If you don’t think kids will find literally anything to fight about you’ve clearly never witnessed an argument over the colors orange and purple— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 14, 2020
Slept in until 6:04am when two kids erupted into a loud argument over who the cat loves more.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 29, 2020
(The cat loves neither of them, because they woke him up, too.)
My kids are arguing about who brushed their teeth faster— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 12, 2017
Related: each one had 513 cavities at their last dentist appointment
My kids arguing about who did what in their Minecraft world is one of the perks of parenthood I never expected.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 11, 2019
I live in Florida. Closest I'll get to a white Christmas is contemplating a cocaine habit to deal with my kids arguing if The Grinch or Charlie Brown is the better Christmas movie.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) December 24, 2021
I told my kids, “If you have one more fight over that balloon, I’m popping it.”— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2019
So I get it, King Solomon. I get it.
The kids are arguing over who should get what in our will.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 21, 2021
My daughter thinks the cat deserves everything.
My kids will fight over a broken plastic fork that fell out of the trash. Anyways, it's cool you're having twins.— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) December 5, 2018
I tried to sleep in this morning so naturally it was the perfect time for my kids to fight over who can scream the loudest.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 4, 2019
My kids: *arguing* MOM WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE KID— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) July 23, 2021
Kids: The boy next door?
Kids: We meant out of us
Me: Still Connor
My kids just spent ten minutes fighting over a pencil, but congrats on your new baby. I'm sure your kids will be best friends.— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) August 31, 2018
Woke at 5:30 to my children fighting over how to pronounce "quatro." The 3yo shrieking "chacho! chacho!" They moved on to argue over spoons.— Nichole Bernier (@NicholeBernier) October 7, 2011
The sounds of my kids arguing over the icing is really turning this gingerbread house into a gingerbread home.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 20, 2015
I want the assured confidence of my children, arguing adamantly over the imaginary details of the thing they just made up 37 seconds ago.— Myrrh (@ixix82) August 6, 2017
Just when you think kids can’t find new ways to one up and torment each other, my children are currently fighting over who came out of my body first.— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) December 24, 2021
No, it's fine. Everything is perfectly normal here, my children are just arguing about which one of them is going to marry the cat.— here comes the son (@idtweetforever) December 29, 2016
My kids asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day & I said for there to be no arguing & then they all started arguing about who would probably be the first one to start an argument.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 7, 2020
[kids screaming at each other]— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 30, 2020
Me: What are you fighting about?
10-year-old: We haven't decided yet.