Children have a rather original approach to the English language, and parents have taken note.
In fact, many of them use Twitter to share their kids’ funny malapropisms and creative turns of phrase. Below, we’ve rounded up 30 tweets from parents about what their kids call things. (And we must admit, some of their choices are arguably superior to the dictionary-official terms).
Thinking about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them “orange meat cookies”
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 4, 2022
My son called a paper cupcake liner a "muffin skirt" and I immediately trademarked it
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) March 13, 2022
My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter.
— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) May 15, 2022
When my kids were little they called the baby monitor the momitor and honestly why isn’t it called that?
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) February 26, 2022
So Sally says “caterkillar” instead of caterpillar and I have NO intention of ever correcting her.
— Audra McDonald (@AudraEqualityMc) September 20, 2019
5: Daddy, I’ve seen lots of books about diarrhoea. Diarrhoea of a spider. Diarrhoea of a wimpy kid. Diarrhoea of a pug.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) June 17, 2022
Me: I think you mean diary.
7 described the tree in her school as "perpendular" so that's what we're calling it from now on.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) May 4, 2022
[in store]
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 20, 2019
4yo: daddy look it's the bitch!
Me: the what!?
4yo: bitch. [Points to the Grinch blowup]
Me: ohhh u mean the GRINch.
4yo: yea the bitch
Me: no dude..it's the GRRR-IN-CH
4yo: the bitch.
Me: ok.
8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth"
— Eliza Jane (@ElizaJaneAgain) July 2, 2022
My 6yo thinks that Good Friday is called Freaky Friday and I'm not correcting her.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) March 30, 2018
9 saw "cake pop" on the starbucks menu and decided to be funny and pronounce cake like cock and loudly exclaimed "I WANT A COCK POP". after i died inside i explained to him what that is slang for and asked if he really wanted a penis pop. needless to say he didn't talk anymore.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 6, 2022
Our toddler is currently loving the movie Brave and keeps pronouncing the name of the princess as Mierda instead of Merida, and I hope you all know that mierda is shit in spanish so our next family get together will be interesting
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) July 9, 2021
My 9yo just told me:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 12, 2021
Thank you, Catherine Obvious.
I’m not correcting her.
At the splash pad today, my kids decided to call the mist from the water “water dust,” and now I shall use the term water dust from this day forward.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) June 4, 2022
My son calls the Pirates of the Caribbean movies “Buccaneers of the Mediterranean” because every time it makes me laugh
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 3, 2022
My kid recently discovered double stuffed Oreos and now he refers to regular ones as “Diet Oreos”.
— The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2022
the fact that my kids woke me up at 6:15 to hunt for easter eggs is made up by the fact that they are repeatedly mispronouncing this as whoopoppers pic.twitter.com/InIAjDTau5
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 17, 2022
I’m never correcting my 5YO who calls getting her nails clipped as getting a ‘panicure’
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 28, 2020
Instead of "yeet," my 6-year-old yells "YEAST," and I will never, ever correct her.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 22, 2022
My daughter says “cheese” instead of “geez” and I swear I’m never correcting her because it’s the absolute cutest thing.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 22, 2021
“I just want to wear my pjs all day, cheese mom.”
Daughter calls flies “fake bees”
— Hannah Hillam (@HannahHillam) July 5, 2022
My 1 yo calls dandelions “blow” which is cute until I’m prying open her mouth pleading with her to not eat the blow.
— Daisy (@Daisyldoo) May 4, 2021
my 4yo calls it "root bear" and created this easy recipe, so try it out!
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) April 21, 2022
1. take fizzy water
2. put a root in it
3. push a bear's face in it
My 2-year-old calls Sesame Street “PEH-FAH-MEE FWEET” and I can’t handle it 😫 Will try to get it on video.
— Saab (@saabmagalona) May 3, 2022
My 3 year old calls Flonase "mommy's special nose medicine" and now my neighbor thinks I do cocaine.
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) February 6, 2020
2yo pronounces the number 15 as ”five-teen” and I have no intention of correcting her.
— Heather 🏳️🌈🇺🇦✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽 (@dishs_up) June 14, 2019
My daughter calls her forehead her "hairbone" and we love it so much.
— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) June 5, 2022
My son refers to the end pieces on a loaf of bread as "the bandaid pieces".
— SneezingWithWetMascara (@WetMascara) October 2, 2021
As in, "gross, don't use the bandaid pieces to make your sandwich!"
toddler pronounces forklifts as f***lips so that’s fun in public
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) July 3, 2022
My four-year-old calls question marks “mystery marks.”
— Bellee Jones-Pierce (@eelleb) February 22, 2019
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