29 Too-Real Tweets About Mealtime With Kids

8 year old daughter:
13:00pm: "I'm hungry"
14:00pm: "I'm hungry"
15:00pm: "I'm hungry"
16:00pm: "I'm hungry"

Me:
17:00pm: "Dinner Time!"

8 year old daughter:
17:05pm: "I don't want it. I'm not hungry".#daughter #kids #parenting #dadlife #dinnertime #dimmer #mealtime #hungry

— The Dad of Design (@thedadofdesign) March 12, 2022

A celebrity Me, talking
at a press to my kids at
conference dinnertime
🤝

"No more questions"

— Ohio mom of two 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #BLM (@OhioMomoftwo) July 16, 2021

Kids: we’re hungry!
Me: it’s nearly ready
*food catches fire*
Me: ok it’s ready

-every mealtime

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 17, 2019

"The best time to ask Mom for snacks is 10 minutes after mealtime." -- Kids everywhere

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) April 23, 2018

Every mealtime.

4 kids x (1 bowl + 1 spoon + 1 cup) = 92 dirty dishes

— Jacob Denhollander (@JJ_Denhollander) September 17, 2020

Me: Don't eat a lot after school. Dinner is in 2 hours

Kids: *eat 17 lbs of food

*dinnertime*

Kids: I'm not hungry

*repeat daily*

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 18, 2021

My 4yr old son can't eat green beans... Because green beans are allergic to him... #kids #kidlit #Food #dinnertime

— 🌸 april flowers 🌺 (@apriliswriting) September 26, 2022

I told the kids I didn’t want to hear a word about the dinner being too burned, too cold, too soggy, too crispy, too chewy or too yucky so they all sat in silence for the entire mealtime

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 22, 2021

“THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!!” Cries my 4-year-old after I cut her toast horizontally instead of diagonally…😒 #parenting

— Dad@Home (@Dad_at_Home_) August 4, 2022

"I'M STILL A BADASS" I quietly sob as my kids make me their dinnertime bitch again

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) December 18, 2021

Shout-out to all the parents who start mealtime with the patience of a saint, only to become a batshit-crazy lunatic with a minuscule thread of patience remaining by the kids’ third bite. You’re all my people.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) October 23, 2019

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something they claim is their favorite food.

-my kids at mealtime

— Daisy (@Daisyldoo) October 24, 2021

Dear new parents. For your own sanity, do not start a habit of asking your kids what they’d like for dinner.

— Hollie McNish (@holliepoetry) January 10, 2023

Me: dinner time
Child: I don’t want that food
Me: it’s what’s for dinner that’s all there is
Child: if you had not put this food on my plate this wouldn’t be a problem

Technically he’s got me there.#parenting #dinnertime #dinnershowdown #children #dinner #food #kid #kids

— Matthew Wentworth (@mbwentworth) April 27, 2022

I didn’t read any parenting books but I assume it’s totally cool to bow out of feeding your kids if mealtime gives you an ulcer. Can anyone verify?

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) November 14, 2018

Cereal for dinner! Because I'm a fun mom, not a mom who's too lazy to buy groceries. #momlife #dinnertime #parenting

— Pauline Yasuda (@PaulineYasuda) August 5, 2018

I spent my time making a home cooked meal and placed it in front of the kids who immediately asked for something different and laughed. Then I laughed. Then we laughed. Then I spoke in a voice not of this world and everyone ate their damn dinner.

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 4, 2022

Green Eggs and Ham is basically a story about a parent trying to feed their kid something new for dinner but the kid won’t eat it because the food is the wrong colour. I also consider it the story of my life.

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) February 11, 2023

Bedtime triggers extreme thirst in children just like dinnertime triggers extreme not hunger. #parenting #bedtime

— Amy G Dala MD (@AmyGDalaMD) May 31, 2018

If y’all need to learn any songs about farting, burps or snot, my kids can hook you up. And they prefer to share during mealtime, just FYI.

— Suki (@skickwriter) November 30, 2018

Thoughts and prayers during this diffult time while my son eats squash. #momlife #lifewithboys #parenting #dinnertime #eatyourveggies

— Barbara Velasco (@misfittoyqueen) August 18, 2019

My son complained that we always have chicken for dinner, so I made a meal without chicken.

Kid: where's the chicken?!

— Karen (@AntsyButterfly) June 22, 2022

me: *cooking 47th meal of the day*

my kid: mom, let’s pretend the kitchen is a restaurant

me: *eye twitch intensifies*

— meghan (@deloisivete) April 13, 2023

I made a new rule at dinner tonight.

Every time my kids complained about my cooking, I gave them an extra helping.

It was the quietest meal we've had in months.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 29, 2022

You know you’ve ordered @ubereats a few too many nights in a row when your toddler asks “is da food man comin?” at dinner time. #parenting

— Andrea Brooks (@AndreaKBrooks) February 9, 2022

My new favorite thing is the kid taking his sippy cup during a meal and not throwing it, but nudging it off the table, possibly hitting the dog with it, then looking at you very coldly and saying “uh oh.”

We’ve considered he might be a sociopath for a while, and here we are.

— Josh Newman (@Joshua_Newman) November 8, 2023

Imagine you own a restaurant. A customer orders a meal and tells you it’s disgusting. They say this is the worst restaurant they’ve ever been to and you’re the worst chef in the world. This is what it’s like cooking for kids.

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) October 26, 2022

The advantage of inviting people to thanksgiving dinner is you don’t have to cook the whole meal yourself. So when your kid refuses to eat you’ve only wasted a portion of your day cooking

— Heatherhere (@Heatinblack) November 24, 2021

Ahhh dinnertime, the only time of the day the kids aren’t hungry.

— Tom Flood V2 (@TomFloodOne) August 2, 2021