Parenthood comes with many different responsibilities, but one of the most challenging and hilarious is definitely the Santa Claus charade.
Parents have a complicated relationship with the jolly old man in red. After all, saying he exists is a lie, and lying is wrong. But so is ruining the joy of Christmas ...
It takes work to keep the magic of Santa Claus alive, which inevitably leads to a lot of funny moments (and a lot of funny tweets). Here are 31 tweets from parents about keeping up the Santa charade. Enjoy!
My 3yo just ran through the room screaming, “SANTA IS COMING EARLY!!!!!”
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 22, 2018
So now I have to salvage this holiday.
According to my bank account balance, my kids are on Santa's naughty list.
— ShotofCherye (@CheryeDavis) December 6, 2013
"Mommy, what's Amazon Prime?"
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) November 24, 2016
"Oh, sweetie, that's what they named Headquarters of Santa's workshops."
Daddy, Santa should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my stocking every year.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 27, 2015
Me: (Unwrapping a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.
Next three hours will be spent furiously wrapping presents. Santa Claus is such a procrastinator.
— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) December 25, 2008
My children are currently GRILLING ME on the plausibility of Santa coming in a chimney with our alarm system
— Diane Farr (@GetDianeFarr) December 20, 2015
5-year-old: I know Santa can’t bring me a pony.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2015
Me: That’s very mature of you. What are you asking for instead?
5-year-old: A motorcycle.
To little children who believe, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is a Christmas classic about infidelity.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 25, 2018
I don’t ever talk on the phone but I will totally have my kids believe that I’m having an entire conversation with Santa if it means they’re going to stop acting like freaking jerks.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) November 20, 2018
I told my kids there's no Santa.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2015
I don't want them to have an unrealistic world view.
Now they know all their gifts come from Batman.
My son filled his Xmas list with toys that don’t exist, looked me in the eyes & said “Santa can make it.”
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 21, 2018
Game on.
I'm sorry kids, it looks like santa got hungry last night and ate all the chocolates out of your advent calendars. Man, what a bummer.
— Ash (🔴 for eggnog only) (@adult_mom) December 2, 2016
[christmas eve, fireplace crackling]
— nick (@parrspective) December 3, 2020
girl: but daddy, won’t santa burn if he comes down the chimney?
dad: yes sweetie you’re right. i’ll put the fire out.
girl: no...leave it on.
MY SON: "Daddy, is Santa Claus God?"
— Frank Lowe (@GayAtHomeDad) December 7, 2014
ME: "No baby, Beyoncé is."
7-year-old: Santa isn't real.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) December 19, 2017
Me: That's right.
7: But he can still stop here if he wants to.
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 19, 2014
My son’s letter to Santa could more accurately be described as a list of demands.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 16, 2018
I would rather my children walk in on me getting pounded from behind than me stuffing their stockings instead of Santa right now.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) December 25, 2010
Parenting during the holidays is just a mix of threatening to call Santa while simultaneously trying to give your kids the best Christmas ever
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 16, 2022
I Saw Mommy Making Passive Aggressive Comments to Santa Claus.
— Suusje 👌🏻 (@dutchchick) December 11, 2014
4-year-old: Is Santa real?
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) November 3, 2014
Me: No.
4: The Easter bunny?
Me: No.
4: Spider-Man?
Me: You better hope Spider-Man didn’t hear that.
I don't limit lying about Santa to just Christmas, he's my year-round fall guy for every disappointment I cause my children to experience.
— Rich Cromwell (@rcromwell4) December 7, 2016
This morning, 11 yo son told me "That Santa at the mall isn't the REAL Santa." He sounded so wise and cool!
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) November 21, 2011
Explained Santa to my two-year-old son as "A big man who comes down the chimney at night and leaves presents under the tree" and he gasped out a "NO!" and burst out crying hysterically. My tiny Jew!
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 24, 2021
My daughter knows the truth about Santa, but every year we do this dance. I stopped doing it once and she was sad. So the charade continues! pic.twitter.com/gtYAxL0Ym6
— Padma Lakshmi (@PadmaLakshmi) December 25, 2022
A cute thing I tell my kids is that the more Christmas inflatables you have on your lawn, the more Santa hates your guts.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 22, 2012
I know my parents were Santa Claus, but I can't figure out how they made it to all the houses in one night.
— Michael Connors 🏳️🌈🌊☮️ (@teachereno) December 25, 2012
The boys left an Old Fashioned out for Santa. The charade shall continue for another year.
— Zach Ward (@UnrealZachWard) December 25, 2018
The lies started when I told my kids that Santa's real and now I can't stop. They think mommy makes dinosaur chicken nuggets from scratch.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) December 7, 2016
Just noticed I signed Imogens present from Satan instead of Santa 🤷🏻♀️
— LG Feechan (@lgfeech) December 25, 2018
It’s time I tell my kids the truth about Santa. He’s Amazon.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) December 12, 2020
Before You Go
