Kids may not always know the official words for things, but the alternative terms they come up with tend to be even better than the real deal.
That’s why many parents take to Twitter to share their children’s funny malapropisms and creative turns of phrase ― from “foot wrists” to “medicine beans.” Below, we’ve rounded up 35 hilarious tweets about what kids call things.
my son just referred to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and im officially calling them that now— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 13, 2022
Instead of “emotional” support, my son said “mimosa-tional” support and I want that a lot more— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 4, 2022
My 4yo told me they had butt cakes after lunch today and I was like “what?!” And he was like yea it was buttcakes… big ol cupcakes with icing. Oh bundt cakes. You had bundt cakes, buddy.— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) March 3, 2023
6yo told me he learned about a painter called Vingo Vango in school, and it took me a beat longer than I care to admit to figure that out— meghan (@deloisivete) December 3, 2022
My 5 year old just referred to the drink menu as a "beer magazine" and that's what I'm calling it from now on— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 22, 2022
The best thing about 3-year-old's is the way they do what they can with the words that they know. My daughter doesn't know the word "cough drop" so she is requesting medicine beans.— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) December 17, 2022
5yo: mommy can you make me a bald egg?— Princess | Sleep & Wellness (@themultiplemom) December 15, 2022
me: are you talking about a BOILED egg.
him: the hard egg with no skin and hair.
My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again.— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) January 2, 2023
When my daughter was four she tried to say she had the "heebie jeebies" but it came out "Hebrew Bee Gees" and that's how it's been pronounced in my house for the last ten years— Melvin of York (@MelvinofYork) January 26, 2023
My kids mispronouncing Michael Bublé is my new favorite holiday tradition.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) December 14, 2022
My 8 yo son just asked me what it meant when women were on their "pyramids"....I don't know how to answer this....— Thought Collector (@DadisaViking) August 8, 2022
My daughter called the 1st President “George Washingmachine” and if anyone corrects her you’re dead to me.— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) December 17, 2022
My kids think the LMFAO song is “I’m 16 and I know it,” so now they’re singing it but swapping in their own ages— meghan (@deloisivete) December 31, 2022
My 5 yr old called a QR code a scan square and now I’m asking myself - “why do they even call them QR codes”— Larry Mickie 🍨 (@larrymickie) August 14, 2021
I just heard a four year old call Ferraro Rocher’s “chocolate meatballs” and I can never go back— Andy Bowers (@evilpez4) June 12, 2022
My 12-year-old called her ankles "foot wrists" and now I'm concerned about her future plans to be a doctor.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 18, 2023
my kid is yelling “JESUS RICE!” as I usher him out the door and I should be mad or upset or something but I am just trying really hard not to laugh— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 13, 2023
My 5yo would like to wish you all a Happy Balance Time Day— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) February 14, 2023
My 7YO has been calling bit as tit since she’s been 4YO, I’ll correct her at some point but now I’m laughing at “May I have a tit of ketchup”— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 12, 2023
My 6yo couldn't remember the term "room temperature" so she called it "house weather." How perfect is that?— Anna Staniszewski (@annastanisz) March 21, 2022
Sorry Italians, according to my 5 year old, arancini are now called golden meatballs.— Kelly Hester (@KellyHester_) July 5, 2022
No one:— meghan (@deloisivete) December 20, 2022
My kid: 🎶 six pickle doves
my son referred to live tv as “the tv where they just show u random things”— . (@NoEmmeG) October 23, 2022
While watching AFV my 4 yr old called the pixelation on a kid’s butt “robo butt,” and now so shall we all.— Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) March 22, 2018
My son was singing don’t stop believing and said a singer in a smoky room smell of farts and cheap perfume and as a live musician I can tell you those should be the lyrics.— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 15, 2023
The best thing I’ve read on the internet today is that someone’s toddler calls tears ‘panic water’.#relatable— Jo Goldsmith-Eteson (@JoGoldsmithE) August 6, 2022
My son referred to a little boy today as ‘a double kid’ - any idea what he meant?— Ginge 🧡 (@yorkshirecurl) January 24, 2022
A twin. The boy had a twin brother.
Grandkids make the world a better place and make me laugh!! When the 4 year old has a nap in the car she denies having fallen asleep. She says she just had a long blink!! 😂😂— Canteach 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 (@canteach) January 1, 2023
Tonight my 3 year old referred to Parmesan cheese as “cheese sprinkles” & that’s what its name will be forever & ever, amen.— NurseKelsey (she/her) 🌈✨🎉❤️🏳️🌈 (@nursekelsey) December 24, 2020
On the 1st day of school, my 6-year-old told me about his art teacher, Mr. McClay. This week, I found out his name is actually Mr. Mitchell.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 31, 2022
Turns out my kid has been calling him McClay because he thinks that's a better name for an art teacher.
My 7yo asked if the song that goes dun dun dun DUN is called Beethoven’s Steph Stephanie and I’ve never been so disappointed to tell him no— meghan (@deloisivete) January 22, 2023
Today my 7 year old grandson called our bathroom scales a "weight thermometer "— TwinFallsIdahoRealEstateGuy (@bryanbroker) June 1, 2022
This is why we should have kids name everything.....
Remembering the first time we saw seals with my daughter and she looks at them and goes “pig…fish???”— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) August 22, 2022
Kids should name all things. Our 5 year old son said, “Poop Sugar,” and we finally realized he was talking about kitty litter. It is now Poop Sugar, and you can’t change my mind!— Maggie Spire (@spirefruit) January 17, 2021
My 4yo calls bow tie pasta « butterfly » and my 6yo calls rotini « drill pasta » instead….kids should be in charge of naming things— Mme Cola! B.A., B.Ed., M.Ed. (@jcolafranceschi) April 20, 2022