Outside of discount candy the next day, is there anything to look forward to about Valentine’s Day when you’re single?
At least there are jokes. Below, we’ve gathered 24 spot-on tweets from people who know that Feb. 14 is pretty much a worthless day when you’re not in a relationship.
i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism
— Jamie Macgregor (@m1ndspeak5truth) February 5, 2018
If men wrote candy hearts:
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) February 14, 2018
- hey
- what r u up to?
- K
- lol
- *silence*
we should cancel Valentine’s Day and have a second thanksgiving
— HP ➵ (@harleyelise_) February 2, 2019
Just now realized that it’s Valentine’s Day... only cuz my grandma texted me and asked if I received her chocolates she sent me. I’m not kidding at all.
— Ethan Dolan (@EthanDolan) February 14, 2018
Here is your annual reminder that if you are single/lonely on Valentine’s Day, you can always celebrate Arizona’s birthday instead! She’ll be 106 and beautiful as ever!!
— Bryce Cluff (@Bryce_Cluff) February 5, 2019
Rude of ikea to shame single people on Valentine’s Day pic.twitter.com/9ffJxZfE1Y
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) February 15, 2018
Friend: what are you doing for VD?
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@SJSchauer) January 29, 2019
Me: taking antibiotics and drinking cranberry juice
Friend: Valentine's Day...
Me, leaning in: taking antibiotics and drinking cranberry juice
“What are you getting for Valentine’s Day?”
— sarafcarter (@sarafcarter) January 28, 2019
Me: ghosted
Valentine’s Day is the Comic Sans of holidays.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) February 14, 2018
Retweet if you’re:
— jeanne (@jeanne_blakely) February 4, 2019
Single on Valentine’s Day
Single on Valentine’s Day
Single on Valentine’s Day
Single on Valentine’s Day
Single on Valentine’s Day
No one will ever know which
Apple Music is that ex that just realized Valentine’s Day is coming and they’re still alone pic.twitter.com/Uxbxn1BswZ
— lo (@lorannnn_) February 2, 2019
Being single is cool and all but like how am I gonna get a stuffed animal bigger than me on Valentine’s Day
— L Reed (@laurxnreed) January 29, 2018
Can we drop the pretense of "President's Day" and just call it "I needed a long weekend because Valentine's Day is garbage"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 17, 2014
Valentine’s Day
— ugh (@gIitering) January 30, 2019
Lentine’s Day
Ntine’s Day
e’s Day
ay
ayy
ayyy i’m still single
Person: "You have any plans for Valentine's day?"
— Jack mull (@J4CKMULL) January 24, 2018
Me: pic.twitter.com/zpNUyrav9A
Can we skip Valentine’s Day and go straight to St. Patrick’s Day
— Carolyn (@_cmwyatt) January 29, 2019
When you single and walk down the Valentine’s Day isle pic.twitter.com/EG8DnJCa2l
— $aun (@Rahsaunn) February 5, 2019
"Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?"
— Zachary (@zacharywhyde) January 28, 2018
Me: Yes... February 14th
Love Valentine’s Day, love New Year’s Eve, love taking the SATs, just love high pressure situations and extreme expectations in general
— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 14, 2018
Valentine’s Day is coming up so if you have a crush on me it’s your time to come forward.
— ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤnufo (@_nufocity) January 30, 2019
the only valentine’s day content I need pic.twitter.com/pOmsj45Tx5
— Maggy (@maggyvaneijk) February 2, 2019
This February, I urge you to avoid the heathen abomination of Valentine’s Day and instead make a return to traditional values by celebrating Lupercalia, which involves men running counterclockwise around the Palatine hill while wearing skimpy goat-skin thongs
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 31, 2019
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
— 🌈🌈Ruthe Phoenix🌈🌈 (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015
half off chocolate on February 15th. https://t.co/ECVkIH59TX
— Amara (@AmaraBaptist) January 22, 2018
