I have a dark secret. It's one that could jeopardize my political career in Maine.
Late at night when no one is looking, I place innocent birds in a sling shot and throw them at wooden structures hoping they will take out cornerstones and bring those structures crashing to the ground.
It's true. I play... Angry Birds.
For decades, secrets like mine were kept hidden as opponents dug for evidence of Swiss Bank accounts, torrid affairs and outright corruption. Or worse -- evidence of "tax and spend" proclivities.
No more.
Just this week, the Maine GOP exposed my good friend, Colleen Lachowicz for playing Santiaga -- an Orc on World of Warcraft, WoW for short.
While this red-headed social worker has pounded the pavement listening to voters about their economic insecurity, helping kids get health insurance and giving hope to people who had never voted in their life, the Maine GOP has been busy outing her for being... well, a gamer. They were so successful, the story has run on CNN, the BBC as well as the French publication, NumeRique.
The next phase of #GamerGate will be the most difficult. How exactly will the Maine GOP go about outing the thousands of Maine gamers for being "immature?" On a related note, is solitaire now considered taboo?
As the Maine GOP raids their next closet for skeletons, Colleen "Santiaga" Lachowicz will be doing what any future State Senator would do - helping kids get health care.
Disclosure: The author has no comment on the allegation she blew up asteroids using her Atari during the '80s.