When it comes to her 11-year-old and 13-year-old children, Louise feels like she’s losing the battle against video games and social media. With her children's minds wrapped up in technology, she worries that she’s losing her connection with them. "How do we parent in this age of technology?" she asks spiritual thinker and renowned teacher Gary Zukav on the new series "Help Desk."
"Well, the issue isn’t between parenting and technology," Zukav says in the above video. "The issue is between parenting and the frightened parts of your children’s personalities."
Zukav goes on to explain that her children are feeling the need to conform to their peers, and using technology and social media is part of that. "What is underneath the need to conform? It's the same with all of us," Zukav says. "It's a pain of not being worthy."
His advice for Louise is to help her children recognize the more constructive parts of their personalities. "You can find parts of your children that really excite them and you can start to cultivate those things instead of them unconsciously cultivating the mindless things, the things they do out of fear," Zukav says.
"And as you do that, you develop a relationship with them as well," he says.
At the same time, Zukav wants Louise to address her true motives. "Because you came here saying this is an issue that the children have, but you are feeling the pain of your children doing something you don't want them to do. And as you try to change them, you're pursuing external power, which means trying to change the world – people, things – so that you'll feel better about yourself," he tells Louise.
"There are other parts of your personality that are offering you options in the way that you can relate to your children, and your husband," Zukav says.