A new video from popular lesbian vlogger Arielle Scarcella asks a group of gay men in relationships to reflect on cultural notions of “masculine” and “feminine” identity and the way people inscribe these ideas onto their relationships.
In the video, three different gay couples describe their own perceptions of their gender expression, and the way that the world tries to police gender roles― often based on their perceived sexual roles.
“People are always ― every time we live broadcast, on all of our YouTube videos, we always get a question [like] ‘who’s the woman?’ Or they always correlate top and bottom with male or female,” one participant in the video says.
“I don’t know if it’s because they don’t understand how frustrating that question can be,” his boyfriend adds.
Scarcella hopes the video will help showcase the diverse spectrum of attraction among queer couples ― and that understanding queer relationships through a “man/woman” binary is not only often incorrect but also unproductive.
“Having done a video on butch women dating other masculine women, it was only fair to highlight the love between two more femme gay men,” she told HuffPost. “Love and attraction can be felt and seen in many forms.”
Check out the video above and head here to see more from Scarcella.