Gena Grish: Writer, Friend... and Nomad?

In a relatively new relationship, when is it too early to leave some of your things behind?
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

When did my life become so hectic? I know that I missed posting a story last week, but I blame the fact that I have, as of late, become a gypsy--nomadic really. Why you ask? Well, you know how it goes. Once you meet someone and exchange letter jackets and or/pins, or for the Generation Y-ers out there, make it Facebook official and change your relationship status, one of the people in the relationship inevitably starts living out of a bag because they are always at the other person's house. This is my life now.

As some of you may know, I had to move from my old apartment into a new one because of the damn bed bug problem that is on the rise here in Chicago. After living with a girlfriend of mine for about a month, on September 1 I finally moved into my fabulous new apartment. Well, from what I remember, it's fabulous. Since I moved in, I have probably spent a total of 2 weeks there because I have been spending a lot of time at the new beau's place. Before you say it, I'm going to answer your question... he doesn't have a roommate and I do, so it's sometimes nicer to be at his place so that we have more privacy. I'm not complaining. I love his place and the location is perfect, but there is something sad about having to fit my life into a duffel bag. And it's certainly not easy! Every time I want to stay there, I have to run home back up North and let the dog out, pack a bag, then lug said bag on the El downtown to his place and then to work with me the next morning. In the last three weeks alone, I have left my toothbrush, my flat iron, a shoe (just one of course, because if I had left both of them, there wouldn't be one around to taunt me), my mascara and my favorite pair of gold stud earrings. The mascara, shoe, toothbrush and earrings I was able to live without for a few days, but on the fourth day of living without my flat iron (yesterday) and subsequently being forced to wear my hair in a pony tail too many times in one week to be socially acceptable, I may or may not have had a slight silent freak out and canceled plans Sunday night to stay at his place.

We have been seeing each other for about four months now (loosely), so I ask you; In a relatively new relationship, when is it too early to leave some of your things behind?

Please know that I'm not saying that by month four I should have a dresser drawer, or be allowed to put my feminine products in his medicine cabinet a la How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, but I certainly would hope that I could start leaving things behind, like a toothbrush or something. In a perfect world, maybe even a little bag of stuff that included pajamas, an extra flat iron and girlie shower products (God I miss those when I don't have them) tucked away in the far back corner of his closet. I will even put them in a nondescript black duffel bag as to not draw attention to it from his friends. But how do I do that? Do I just start "accidentally" leaving stuff behind? Do I start dropping hints about leaving stuff behind to feel out the situation? Or, gasp! Do I actually talk to him about it? Eesh. It all seems so daunting. Am I that out of practice of having a functional relationship that something this trivial has consumed my thoughts? Yes. Yes, apparently I am.

Shit almost hit the fan this morning when I realized that I hadn't packed the correct bra to wear under my shirt for work and was going to have to make a run to Nordstrom to buy one, so that I didn't look like my "work" was that of a prostitute. That was the icing on the cake, and I started to open my mouth to unleash about how unfair it was that I was always at his place, and that I was tired of lugging my crap back and forth, when I noticed that he had silently moved my toothbrush from the side of the sink, and placed it in the toothbrush holder next to his. Good man. With that sweet gesture, I decided to bite my tongue and see if the situation continues to remedy itself. Until then, I guess I will just have to get used to never wearing matching socks.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot