Gender-Discovering is a Young Person's Game

After decades of being on the cutting-edge, I'm finally behind-the-times, old hat, obsolete, completely in the dark, clueless, fuddled. Toss me in the trash.

Why? I've just found out that Facebook, the arbiter of everything sociologically significant, has proclaimed that there are fifty-eight genders.

The List:
1. Agender 2. Androgyne 3. Androgynous 4. Bigender 5. Cis 6. Cis Female 7. Cis Male 8. Cis Man 9. Cis Woman 10. Cisgender 11. Cisgender Female 12. Cisgender Male 13. Cisgender Man 14. Cisgender Woman 15. Female 16. Female to Male 17. FTM 18. Gender Fluid 19. Gender Nonconforming 20. Gender Questioning 21. Gender Variant 22. Genderqueer 23. Intersex 24. Male 25. Male to Female 26. MTF 27. Neither 28. Neutrois 29. Non-binary 30. Other 31. Pangender 32. Trans 33. Trans Female 34. Trans Male 35. Trans Man 36. Trans Person 37. Trans Woman 38. Trans* 39. Trans* Female 40. Trans* Male 41. Trans* Man 42. Trans* Person 43. Trans* Woman 44. Transfeminine 45. Transgender 46. Transgender Female 47. Transgender Male 48. Transgender Man 49. Transgender Person 50. Transgender Woman 51. Transmasculine 52. Transsexual 53. Transsexual Female 54. Transsexual Male 55. Transsexual Man 56. Transsexual Person 57. Transsexual Woman 58. Two-Spirit

How did I miss all this? Have I been living under a rock? Rip Van Chuckle.

Let me go back...

I grew up in the 1960s/70s in an ultra-liberal environment. Being a creative type, I hung out with theatre/TV/movie folk (real ones and wannabes), musicians, artists, poets, dancers, writers. I had zero issues with gays, bisexuality, anything. Surgery for switching gender? Not for me but fine by me.

I also grasped the variations, was familiar with Yin, Yang & Jung, feminine/masculine duality, asexuality, blah blah blah. 'Feminine' males and females - some hetero, some gay, some bisexual. 'Masculine' males and females - some hetero, some gay, some bisexual. I was even brutally honest with myself and discerned a few teensy feminine traits of my own - intermixed, of course, with abundant, overwhelming, awe-inspiring, rock-solid, staggeringly potent uber-masculine ones.

But where have I been? Where did all these newfangled genders come from? To think I go to the store, the mall, a ball game, a church picnic - and I'm surrounded by dozens and dozens of mysterious, baffling genders milling about.

How do you figure out which one you are? It would take days and days to research them all. By the time you're finished googling and collating and cataloging and eliminating and comparing you'd be way too tired to have sex with anybody, let alone whomever you're harmoniously matched or grouped with.

This gender-discovering is a young person's game. Let me just sit in my rocking chair while staring at my navel - and whatever else is down there that for the last fifty-odd years was probably supposed to be doing all sorts of things it never knew about.