George H.W. Gets Jump on Bill Clinton, Tells Sarkozy: "Oui, mon fils est un idiot"

George HW Bush today began a world tour to tell people the US is again open for business and cooperation. Although Bill Clinton had planned to do this tour together with Bush in November, 2009, Bush decided to get a jump on the process, parachuting into Paris.

"Why wait for 2009?", said HW. "I wanted to tell Sarkozy that 'yes, my son is an idiot' right now, I don't need Bill Clinton for that. Besides, Bill Clinton is too much of a wimp to jump out of plane, so we would not have been traveling together anyhow".

HW said that he had been miffed ever since George W. told Woodward that he only appealed to a higher father. "Well, when you saw me in the parachute --that's the highest father that's ever done anything for him. And, believe me, he needed a lot of help...When he prayed to get into prep school, then into college, then into the National Guard to avoid combat service, then into business school, then into the oil business, then getting out of the oil business leaving others to suffer financial loss, then into the Texas Rangers organization, I am here to tell you that I was the father that did all of that for him."

HW denied any responsibility for the loss of regard the US has suffered under his son. "He started going after an even higher father, who does not seem to have helped very much; everything the higher father told him to do has not worked out very well."

So, I'm back to pick up the pieces", said Bush. "Gonna do it. If Bill Clinton wants to join me, that's fine, but I'm not holding my breath while he decides if he will finally inhale. Besides, George W. wants to 'replenish the ole wallet' when he leaves US soldiers fighting in Iraq in '09, and this will help him get his share of that new business ahead of the Clintons."

In other news, former governor Mike Huckabee said he would be best of all the candidates at establishing friendly relations with Muslim countries. "Barack may have the right background and middle name, Richardson may have the experience and track-record, but Muslim countries will recognize they have a shared position with me on the proper role for women", said Huckabee, who signed a document describing women as gracious servants.