You know what makes me really mad?
That the world, “thinspiration” is a thing and ACTUALLY gets millions of hits on google.
That billboards display photoshopped models happily riding into the sunset after their cellulite reduction treatment or fat freezing procedure.
The number of articles that are produced and distributed on the internet each and every day encouraging women to shrink. To become small. To strive to be less than what they already are.
You know what makes me even more mad?
The fact that over 50% of kids ages 6-8 think their ideal weight is thinner than their current size.
That by age 10, 80% of kids are afraid of being fat.
That 90% of girls have dieting by the time they’re 18.
That women’s lives are being placed on hold because of our culture’s messages that they can’t achieve, can’t be truly happy, can’t love themselves until they become a size ____.
Yesterday I literally yelled, “what the efffff” as I shut off my radio for good after hearing ANOTHER promise of the perfect plan to get bikini-ready. As if our bodies can’t put on a bikini in the here and now!
And, yes! I’m still fired up.
And you know what? That anger, that fire that’s burning inside of me…it’s ok. Because just like any emotion, anger should be felt and experienced in a healthy way. It shouldn’t be repressed or pushed aside to fester and build.
As women, we’re conditioned to smile, to put on a happy face and pretend. Pretend that we’re not affected by the incessant messages that keep us small and contained. Pretend that we’re not sick of feeling less than and like we’ll never be good enough.
Have you experienced anger like this?
Are you sick and tired of being bombarded with messages that you have to lose the weight, tighten up, look a certain way in order to feel comfortable in your skin?
What’s the feeling behind it?
Take a few minutes and feel your gut reaction to the following:
- How does it feel that our culture’s picture of beauty has been statistically shown to be unattainable by all but 5% of women?
- How does it feel that up to 50% of women are on a diet each and every day? And that our culture has seemingly brainwashed women and girls of all ages to believe that their bodies must be controlled and that their appearance is the most important thing to them?
- How does it feel to know that people of size are discriminated against each and every day?
- How does it feel that the diet and beauty industries are cashing in on women’s insecurities that have been molded by the messages they produce through the media?
- That they’ve set up a fail-proof system for themselves… but a 100% fail system for us as consumers! Thin ideal ->Body-dissatisfaction -> Diet -> Fall off the diet -> Guilt shame -> Repeat. Again and again.
- How does it feel to see and hear advertisements assuring you that you need to lose more weight to be summer ready?
How can you turn your experience of anger into something productive? Into something that will help you stop buying in, start living the life you deserve and start creating your own standards of beauty?
Continue to see the messages for what they are- fear mongering scare tactics that keep you spending your hard earned money and emotional energy on something outside of yourself.
Call the messages out when you see and hear them! Consider a few ways that you can protect yourself from the messages so frequently forced on us. Shut off the radio. Change the TV channel. Unfollow the fitspo’s.
Draw your line in the sand. When will enough be enough? When will you be ready to throw out the dieting cycle that has caused you so much emotional and physical pain? At what point will living a full life outweigh a life consumed by body loathing and weight loss?
Stop buying in. Know that there’s another way to rediscover how beautifully badass you already are. A way to love yourself in the here and now. You don’t have to continue believing the hype. You can live a life free of self-loathing.
Look inward. What is it that you really want? Happiness? Connection? Focus on those things in the here and now instead of assuming you’ll achieve them once you hit that one size.
Allow yourself to experience the anger that’s stirred up when you consider how women have been influenced and how these messages have shaped the way they see themselves.
And, use that anger to inform the way you treat yourself and interact with yourself daily. Make decisions about and for your body that reconnect you to your inner-knowing (it’s there! I promise!), instead of the external noise that has you feeling like you’ll never be free from dieting and body-loathing.
Sarah Herstich is a body image and eating disorder therapist in Horsham, PA. Sarah specializes in binge eating and helping women stop yo-yo dieting and start living the life they’ve always wanted. Grab her FREE Guide for Self-Love here. To learn more about Sarah and her work, visit www.sarahherstichlcsw.com.