Since I was a young girl I have had an issue with my weight. Although I've never been more than 25 pounds overweight other than when I was pregnant, I've never been thin either. More importantly, no matter if it was up or down, I've always felt fat, even when I wasn't.
Today I talked with my friend Dr. Leslie Romer, author of the book, Getting Into Your Pants (meaning your own!). I interviewed her a year ago as a Luminary for Inspire Me Today.com. She's so thin and beautiful and I felt embarrassed at admitting to her that not only did I fail at losing the 10 pounds we talked about last year, but I'd gained an additional 15 pounds!
For the past two years I've changed some of my habits, and could blame my weight gain on relocation (twice), traveling often, changes in pre-menopausal hormonal levels, getting married, starting a new business and not having the time to exercise, financial pressure, stress or one of many other things that I've gone through. Bottom line- this is my fault and mine alone, based on the choices that I've made.
Remembering how my respect for Jamie Lee Curtis increased when she allowed photos of her body to be published without retouching or make up, I decided to be real and blog about this. (Thanks for the inspiration Jamie!) I'm sure most women can relate to this feeling of embarrassment and naked vulnerability.
This afternoon when I stepped on the scales, the number was even worse than I feared. My first reaction was to sit down and cry. Seriously, how did I allow this to happen? How could I be such a failure? Where did my body go and who is that in my mirror?
After a few deep breaths I decided right then and there to make a decision that would get me where I want to be, rather than beating myself up over where I am and how I got here. Instead of focusing on the size of my thighs, I'm choosing to focus instead on where I'm going.
It takes inside work to get outside results. I've always thought I was fat, and I manifested that exact thought. Now I get to use the same law in reverse and be grateful for my thin body- even before it is thin.
Knowing that it takes 21 days to create a habit, Dr. Leslie and I made a plan. Eating is a habit just like anything else, and I can do anything for 21 days! I question, why have I waited this long to do this? Seriously, how difficult can this be? Then I remember the failed diets and ups and downs of the past 20 years. But I'm also re-inspired when I remember how many times have I missed out on part of the pleasure of life because I've felt too fat or because I couldn't fit into any of my cool clothing. Enough!
Today is the first day on my journey to a new and improved me. I've decided to take a risk, and scary as this sounds, I will blog about this as I go. If you feel you need to tone up and become healthier, please consider joining me on this adventure. If you're already fit then please join me with your support.
What I know is this- I will fit into my jeans in two months. I don't have the patience for this to take forever. I like instant gratification. However, I'm realistic enough to know that this wasn't created overnight, nor will it be solved overnight. I'm staying focused on the benefits to my self-esteem and health and celebrating it now.
In order for me to fulfill my purpose on this planet, I have to be the best me possible. As Dr. Leslie says, " If you refuse to take care of you for you, then do it for the father, the mother, the son, the daughter, the sister, the brother, the grandchild, the spouse, or the friend who loves and needs you, radiant with energy, joy, purpose, and love."
So, from this day on, I'm eating to live, not living to eat. I will follow Dr. Leslie's suggestions and will "fuel my body with nature's best-for-you foods - whole, fresh fruits and vegetables, your weight and disease warriors and health and energy heroes." I will make exercise a regular part of my life again. And, I'll blog each day for the next 21 days and keep you posted on my progress, frustration and success. I know the unwanted thoughts and pounds will fall off quickly.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to connect with you on an even deeper level so please let me know (in the comment section below) if you want to join me.
As Dr. Leslie says, "Never underestimate the power of love and human connection. Don't ignore it. Don't take it for granted. Do cherish it. Appreciate it. And nurture it - now - while you still have the chance to give the greatest gift of all - you."