'Ghoster's Paradise' Is Every Wronged Woman's New Anthem

'Ghoster's Paradise' Is The Anthem For Every Wronged Woman

Yes, it's a thing. It's not just you.

You know what we're talking about: From the urban sludge of un-dateable men you've unearthed a potential gem. You have a few great dates and then homeboy vanishes into thin air. You feel confused and rejected, experiencing something in between psychological warfare and emotional blue balls.

There are a few names for it: the fade out, the fade away, getting "ghosted." When comedy writer Hannah Vanderpoel identified the trend and confirmed its prevalence among 20-something women, she decided to make a video about it.

Quick synopsis: Girl dates guy. Guy ceases all contact. Girl consults girlfriends. Girlfriends compose a rap opera condemning every stage of the fade out.

Part public service announcement, part poetry for the straight single girl, the video is a warm embrace for anyone who's received the ghost treatment. Coolio's '90s hit "Gangsta's Paradise" provides a fitting beat and lyrical guideline. "Been spending most our lives, living in a Ghoster's Paradise. Go out maybe once or twice, no call after an amazing night."

What's wonderful about "Ghoster's Paradise" is that it doesn't get its kicks solely from the desperation of single women, but lampoons the men who can't be bothered to let a woman know if they plan on seeing her again. It's not a ballad -- it's lyrical roast.

While our mothers waited for a guy to call, millennial women have access to multiple social media outlets to confirm or deny any and all factors that could account for delayed communication. We put enough faith in technology to fly us in the air and take pictures of our bones, but in a state of relative lust with an unrequited text in play, we lose all confidence in a phone's ability to deliver a text message.

In the unlikely event our protagonist's devices are perfectly healthy and he actually hasn't contacted her, she wonders "Were you kidnapped or did you die?" (When the alternative is "he's just not that into you," we definitely prefer the abduction theory.) In a later verse, she exclaims: "You posted a Vine, so I know you're not dead!" Ugh, sorry girl.

At the end of the video, the aggrieved -- draped in animal fur and slick shades with her lady crew by her side -- addresses unfinished business with this ghost. Unlike the ghost, we're not gonna front: The ending is victorious.

Before You Go

#ImSingleBecause

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot