Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Episode 7 of "Girls" Season 3, titled "Beach House."
Over the past few months, "Girls" fans have started grumbling a bit. Season 2 was depressing but forgivable. Season 3 has been a little better, but Hannah, Marnie, Shoshannah and Jessa have become less relatable. Is it possible that it'll never get better than Season 1?
Nope. This week, the girls headed to the Hamptons -- excuse me, the North Fork -- in an effort to bond and cleanse their spirits. Sure, the weekend was exploding with narcissism, but it was also the funniest, most touching episode of "Girls" since Hannah and Marnie danced to Robyn together.
With 10 being the most self-involved and 1 being the least, see how each of the girls scored in Season 3, Episode 7 of "Girls" titled "Beach House."
Hannah has a lot going on right now. She's employed in the advertorial department of GQ, she has a great boyfriend and she really doesn't like Marnie.
But after being ditched by Charlie, Marnie's not willing to let her best friend get away so quickly. So she organizes a weekend away in the North Fork, a place for people who think the Hamptons are tacky and don't want to be on a beach that's near J. Crew.
Marnie excitedly reveals her plans for the weekend -- they'll cook and write down their wishes! -- and Hannah keeps getting more miserable. So when she runs into her ex-boyfriend, ex-roommate and ex-friend Elijah, she's overjoyed. Sure, he made a not-so-nice "Spring Breakers" joke about her green bikini, but she'd rather hang out with him than Marnie.
Next thing we know, Hannah's invited three gay guys over for the rest of the day and Marnie is fuming. The gang spends the day drinking, catching up and talking through their many issues. Hannah and Marnie even have a heart to heart in which Hannah says she totally gets why Marnie has abandonment issues.
But that doesn't stop Hannah from asking the guys to stay for dinner against Marnie's wishes, where they go on to insult her tiny portions while Hannah laughs along. Soon enough the girls start hurling insults at each other until Hannah declares that she "really misses her boyfriend" and they all find separate corners of the house to sleep in.
Frankly, Hannah's self-involvement is getting a little nauseating. Did she have to insult Marnie's effort to such an extreme? She invited the guy over who was partially responsible for the bad blood between them, and at one point she admitted to Marnie that she'd been dreading the weekend. She then went on to say the one thing you're never supposed to says on a girls' weekend: That you miss your boyfriend.
Overall self-involvement: 10
I'm not going to say I'm completely Team Marnie ... except that I am. Everything that made this episode so great was because of her! She was responsibly for the beautiful setting that made us freezing East Coasters remember that summer does exist, and her efforts to restore her delicate female friendships were actually very realistic.
"I just want to prove to everyone via Instagram that we can still have fun as a group," she explains, and it makes sense. Of course she wants Charlie to check his Instagram and see that she's having a great time, but she's also wants her friends back. It's understandable.
When Hannah throws her a curve ball by inviting Elijah and his friends over, Marnie freaks out a little. She wouldn't be Marnie if she didn't throw a few bitchy comments Hannah's way, but for the most part she keeps it together. She and Elijah manage to talk things out, and she barely protests when Hannah says that Elijah and his friends are most definitely staying for the dinner she cooked for four.
And when it comes time for a dance routine -- and that dance routine is part of what makes this episode so great -- Marnie is all about it. She's a team player, even though everyone made fun of that duck she spent all day cooking. And she didn't even ask anyone to help out!
Overall self-involvement: 3
Yeah, it seems like Jessa's moment in the sun disappeared with rehab, but she's also been a pretty good mood. She's completely sober (but not above peer pressuring Hannah to drink), and she's become just a little more thoughtful.
She made friends with an adorable old couple on the bus, she jumped to Shoshanna's defense when Hannah called her intellectually unstimulating -- she once saw Shosh read the newspaper on her phone! -- and she makes thought-provoking statements like "happiness is about appreciating what you have." Who cares if she learned them in rehab?
Jessa's in a better place, which is really all we can hope for our adventurous bohemian troublemaker. Is she self-involved? Maybe, but we certainly didn't see it in this episode.
Overall self-involvement: 4
I can't decide how I feel about Shoshanna these days. In some ways I'm proud of her for being less timid, but I also think she's become a complete mosnter. Whatever the case, she was responsible for the episode's most pivotal scene.
Seemingly out of nowhere, Shosh drunkenly told Hannah that she was a complete narcissist.
"I wanted to fall asleep in my own vomit all day listening to you talk about how you bruise more easily than other people," she spat, adding that the three of them were a "bunch of whiny fucking nothings."
As for that duck, Marnie, Shosh thought it tasted like a used condom and she wants to forget about it. Well.
As crazy as this scene was, and as horrible as the things they all said to each other were, there was something very real about it. Because people grow apart, and it's never easy. We try to hold on, we get angry, we avoid each other. There's no such thing as exiting a relationship gracefully.
Overall self-involvement: 9
At the very end of the episode, Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna are waiting for the bus that will take them back to their separate New York lives, and something kind of wonderful happens. In their hungover states, with giant frowns on their faces, they start to silently relive their dance routine from the night before.
Friendships can end in any number of ways. Sometimes they die slowly, sometimes they come to startling halts. We let go and move on, but that bond always lives inside of us somewhere. And if the girls of "Girls" are lucky, they'll be able to find their way back to each other again.
"Girls" airs on Sundays at 10 p.m. EST on HBO.