God Gave Duck Dynasty Phil Robertson to Democrats. Thank You, Lord, for This Gift.


The camouflaged, bearded duck hunter in the sky, in his infinite wisdom and vendetta against mallards, gave liberals everywhere a gift. His name is Phil Robertson and his controversial comments on homosexuals, Satan in politics and God are well-documented. However, the latest conservative prophet isn't just an astute political analyst and theologian. He could be the next salt-of-the-earth conservative who Sean Hannity abandons and one reason why "evil" wins for the third consecutive presidential election.

Why is the Duck Commander a heaven sent gift to liberals, Democrats, and other heathens across the country? The answer to this question starts with comments by GOP candidates before the last election. Indiana Senate Candidate Richard Murdoch in 2012 gave his thoughts on God's view of pregnancy from rape. Murdoch stated in a debate that, "I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen." Echoing Murdoch, Missouri's Todd Akin also presented his knowledge of rape by saying, "It seems to be, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, it's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down." As for the political impact of these religiously inspired statements on rape, a U.S. News article explained the consequence of such misguided dialogue:

Independent voters will keep these incidents in mind when they vote Tuesday. These attacks on women foreshadow Republican intentions if they win the trifecta and control of both houses of Congress and the White House. You can forget about the economy, Washington will be rape and abortion 24/7. The GOP insults may also have an ironic backlash. Ryan, Akin, Murdock, and Koster are poster boys for the need for more women in Congress, so Republican attacks on women may mean the election of more women. Fortunately in the cases of Akin and Koster, voters have the opportunity to send Claire McCaskill and Suzan DelBene to Washington. The really scary thing is these GOP candidates actually believe what they say. The Republican attacks on women will keep on coming. They just can't help themselves. Fanatics never can.

As a result of such ridiculous claims by God-fearing GOP candidates, Claire McCaskill is a Missouri Senator and Suzan DelBene is Representative for Washington's 1st congressional district. Prior to the comments, both political races were close. Also, the negative publicity generated a narrative of the GOP being against the interests of women. When voters entered voting booths in the last presidential election, the "rape and abortion 24/7" media attention was fresh in the minds of undecided voters.

Therefore, imagine if the Duck Commander issues more of his intriguing observations on God, society and politics right before the next election. Would they have a Todd Akin and Richard Murdoch effect? According to a now famous GQ article, the following quotes from Phil Robertson are pearls of wisdom that could turn into tens of thousands (or hundreds of thousands if he is more candid with his thoughts) of Democratic votes:

It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there! She's got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I'm saying? But hey, sin: It's not logical, my man. It's just not logical.

I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash. We're going across the field... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people' -- not a word! Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.

If I'm lost at three o'clock in a major metropolitan area... I ask myself: Where would I rather be trying to walk with my wife and children? One of the guys who's running for president is out of Chicago, Illinois, and the other one is from Salt Lake City, Utah. [Editor's note: Romney is from Boston, not Salt Lake City.] Where would I rather be turned around at three o'clock in the morning? I opted for Salt Lake City. I think it would be safer.

Temporary is all you're going to get with any kind of health care, except the health care I'm telling you about. That's eternal health care, and it's free... I've opted to go with eternal health care instead of blowing money on these insurance schemes.

These statements have the same tone of the words uttered by Todd Akin and Richard Murdoch in that confidence is used to substitute fact. When confidence is the sole ingredient of political dialogue, you get Phil Robertson, Cliven Bundy, Joe The Plumber, and every other Republican cheerleader who merges God and politics. You also get a potential political liability since the majority of Americans don't vote based on what someone else's concept of divinity deems right and wrong.

If God in heaven wants to cut food stamps, thinks homosexuality is a sin, and has a dislike of ducks, then the great NRA member in the cosmos has given Democrats an early Christmas present. The Duck Commander should continue educating the GOP on how to conduct business, and never stop pontificating about why God feels certain people are sinners. The moment Sean Hannity abandons Phil Robertson the way he cut and ran from Cliven Bundy, we'll know that the Duck Dynasty star has gone too far-and lost votes for the GOP.